Decorating

I have tried not to cover the house in red and green and holly. Isn't amazing how we can squeeze snowmen and candles into places we would normally not ever put stuff. All in the name of holiday decorating...

To feats of decorating success I have had this Christmas are my swag and my Tiffany bowl.

One Christmas I fell in love with this idea... I was at friends house for Christmas Eve and she had lights and glass Christmas balls hanging from an evergreen swag and they all hung over the living room windows. I have tried to duplicate her masterpiece - minus the lights because there is nowhere to plug them in. Notice the little snowman hanging on for dear life!

Last Saturday, I went to a craft show looking for something Christmasy for our coffee table. I saw a few possibilities but nothing that made me want to spend my future house money on. So I came home empty handed. But when I started decorating the next day I came up with this creation using the Tiffany bowl we received as a wedding gift + Christmas balls + a few sprigs of the tree that were cut off. And what do we have a ? a colorful bowl of found items that didn't cost me extra. Gotta love that!

To Tinsel or Not to Tinsel

Sunday we bought our first Christmas Tree together. I was more excited than Hubby... I carefully laid out all the ornaments that I would put on the tree. This is the first Christmas tree I have ever decorated all on my own and I quite liked the freedom to dress it up just as I wanted.

The results are mostly red, white and silver. I am still asking the questions though do I tinsel or not?

I hung one of my favorite ornaments. I have had since I was a baby. For the last 3 years, I have been unsure where to hang it. I planned to hang it on my roommate Christmas trees but when I thought about the fact that on Christmas Day I wouldn't see my little angel on a swing I decided to bring it back home to my parents. But now I have my own home and my own tree and I will actually be able to enjoy my little angel on Christmas Day even if it isn't on my parents tree. So here she is...

Sometime I wonder why do we go through all these trappings -Christmas trees, cookies and presents- they really don't have anything to do with Jesus' birthday. And I highly doubt that Jesus was even born on December 25th. Nevertheless there is some thing nice about the warm glow of the lights and the shiny red balls that make a drab day pretty special. Not to mention many of the ornaments hold special memories or remind me of special people.

... The question still does remain to tinsel or not to tinsel...

neverfindout.org

neverfindout.org

Quintessential Italy

This has always been one of my favorite pictures taken in Italy. I took this on my way to Mount Vesuvius.
I recently realized our new printer is also a scanner so presto scano. I can finally post it.

The woman was hanging wash and yelling down to someone walking in the street. Which to me is the quintessential Italian way! I don't think she was yelling at my for taking her picture though. I tried to be discreet.

Late Bloomer

I have always been a later bloomer. Somehow even at my age, I still keep finding areas of my life where I still haven't opened up or changed.

Recently, I was visiting a favorite creek and it was a very different experience than the last time I was there when I walked in the water in my socks. I found rest in this spot but was little a disappointed that I couldn't recreate the exhilarating romping good time I had years ago. It was a case of too tired, not enough time or extra socks.

I did catch this nice shot and it kind of reminded me of me. Seems to me, it is a late bloomer or to be more exact a late changer. Things change and some things stay the same or take longer to change that seems to be a fact of life. And everyone who knows me knows it took a long time to "change my name." I still seem to be a little green in some areas when it comes to be a wife. Sometime I look at my finger and see that wedding band and wonder "How did this happen?"
I think it will sink in eventually just as I am sure those green leaves will be changing colors.

The View

It started off as a drink of water and then grew into a flower. I was so intrigued by the view I ran for my camera and tried to recreate what I saw. I think I captured it well. I suppose it was a moment of seeing things from a different perspective and finding emerging beauty. Not only did I notice the flower but the lovely way the sun was reflecting in the water. In the end, I was glad I noticed and took the time to appreciate this wonderful glimpse.

Of New Jobs, Hard Things and Pumpkin Sorbet

New Job
Tomorrow it will be 1 month since I started my new job. It is going really well. There are definite difference but a lot of similarities too. I was well received and I like to think I jumped right in to the job. I have learned more about Excel in the last few weeks than I ever thought possible. I had no idea it could do some of the things it does and sometimes its capabilities scare me. What alarms me even more is how quick people are to say "Oh we could make an Excel spreadsheet and blah blah blah...." I am told it comes from being around so many DuPont chemical engineer types.

There is no denying that I am happy about the shorter work day and the shorter commute, but I do miss my old friends.

All in all I am happy that God has put me in this new place, I am being challenged and inspired.

Hard Things
Things like Excel can be daunting. There are plenty of other hard things I have had a hard time tackling and sometimes just been too afraid to tackle. Lately, I have found my self doing something I never thought could or would happen. And I am faced with the decision, loose hold of the wonder and amazement that I have actually mastered or overcome some hard thing or take it all for granted soon forgetting that once upon a time I couldn't do... Excel, pump my own gas and the list goes on of hard things... I am trying to hold on to that wonder - that sense of gratitude as I tackle new hard things.

Pumpkin Sorbet
Yes, its that time of year again. Time to experiment with sorbet recipes so I can try and recreate the frosty pumpkin pie without a crust I was blessed enough to partake of last fall. I have been making all kinds of sorbets this summer such as peach, plum, strawberry, and pear with Riesling. There is still no Pumpkin recipe out that satisfies me so I had to create a recipe based on a super easy peach recipe I found that doesn't require simple syrup -which is always the thing that holds me up.

Result: I am getting closer. Overall I am pleased with it but I will keep trying to perfect it.

Dancing Bride

So who knows where I have been for the last 2 months but to make up for being AWOL... have a look at this video - It might just turn your head!

Milestone Mileage

I have racked up a lot of miles in the last 3 months. So I was able to reach this Mileage Milestone a lot quicker than if I was commuting a reasonable distance to work.

It was with great excitement that I anticipated the turning of my mileage to 100,000. Really I am serious, I was like one on the edge of her seat! I had planned on you using me cell phone camera to document the event -because I forgot my camera.

Fortunately, Jeremy summer intern extraordinaire needed a ride to the mechanic. I asked him to bring his camera because by my calculations I knew we would be on route 476 when the "turn" took place. I was so thankful for his keen photography skill that caught this monumental occasion in a digital snapshot so that I can fondly look back to the day my dear Honda "Billy" turned 100,000 miles. Billy now has reached the point in its life where a $600+ timing belt is now right around the corner hence its name Billy short for "Responsibility" fulfills its name.
I am glad that not only did I have some to take the pictures but that I had someone there to celebrate with. Thanks Jeremy!

Hope on Youtube

It's amazing what you can do when you go get "help". So I have finally learned to post a youtube video! This is Marina Micalizzi and Kira Dutzmann performing at Project Dance NYC 2008 to Sara Groves' "It Might Be Hope."

I have been listening to Sara Groves for the last 2 weeks. This is the only video I found with the song I like. These 2 girls did a lovely job. (Though I have no idea who they are!) I find it somewhat ironic that they performed this 5 days before my wedding. Something I have been hoping for for a long time.

I am finding the need for hope and desire for it to be just outside my window or on the other end of the phone has not diminished now that I have a dear husband.

Our hopes change but the need for it doesn't.

P.S. Maybe now I can figure out how to post a video from the camera. You might get to see the Dancing Bride

Rumble Seats

Once upon a time we had a couple posters of antique cars hanging up in our cellar. One of them had a rumble seat. I always wanted to ride in a rumble seat. This spring I finally got the chance...

Isn't nice when these little childhood wishes come true?

Friday with Quilters

After I finally found the quilt shop I was looking for, I started to mill around looking for the piece of fabric I have pictured in my mind -a perfect shade of Robin's Egg Blue with speckles of brown.

Instead of found this lovely piece:

This might work but it is still not exactly what I am looking for. So I decided to only get a "Fat Quarter."

It was near to closing time and the shop owner and one of the workers started to pull out fabrics for a new sample quilt.

Now one of my most favorite things to do is pick out fabrics for a quilt. There is something so invigorating and artistical about pulling fabrics off shelves and out of boxes and saying: "Ohhhh yes they go together perfectly!" (And this is what I was hoping to do when I found the perfect Robin's Egg Blue)

And that's exactly what these 2 women were doing! So I subtly wiggled my way into the process and before long the 3 of use were pouring over bolts of fabric and experimenting with different ideas for the needed 6 fabrics for the quilt.

They listened to my opinion and ultimately choose 2 of the fabrics I pulled out. So I am anxious to stop by in the next week or so to see the completed project.

In the meantime, I might pull out my box fabrics and see what I have that matches my lovely blue and brown.

Since I got married...

Since I got married...

I have only made pancakes once, but I have used my new waffle maker multiple times.

I have doubled the amount of laundry I do, but I am fortunate Walter doesn't require ironed clothes for work.

I have racked up 2040 miles in 34 days driving 68 hours to and from work.

And after living in Pennsylvania for 4 years of college and almost 4 years in Wayne and Havertown, I have finally started to pump my own gas! Yes, I decided one day when I was on "E" and no where near a full service station that since I was a married woman I ought to learn to pump my own gas. And so I have.... since I got married.

Distilling Trust

I have spent much of the afternoon crafting cover letters and submitting resumes.
I could be wearing a T-Shirt that says:

“I rather be Blogging!”

I don't know where any of my applications will lead. I can tell you, I hope one will lead to a good paying job that only takes 20 minutes or less to get to rather than 60!

I am distilling what trust looks like after you get married. And I am finding that trust looks differently these days. I trust God through Walter and I trust Walter through God.

The Body of Christ ...in China

We have had Chinese University Professors visiting with us at the church. They have toured around all the historical sites while staying with Christian families and listening to lectures on Religious freedom in America and Christianity. I worked through the details of the schedule, making sure they had a place to sleep. Sure there were some snafus like I forgot to order them boxed lunches to take with them for their departure to the next city. So I ran to Wawa and ordered turkey hoagies... I got to sit in on one of the lectures with the pastor - which was really just stories of his recent experiences in China. I emailed him after everyone had left:

“I gotta tell you I was so blessed listening to what you had to say to the Chinese. It’s easy to lose sight of the big picture when you focus so much on the details: Plane departures, confirmation #s, hours in a day etc. The thought occurred to me that someday I will get to heaven and I will see the fruit of all those collective labors. I helped make your schedule so you could get to the place God planned you to be so you could plant a seed. So someday I will see the results of all the seeds planted from your seeds. So I may not be planting seeds myself but I have been getting the farmer to the field. It was good to see that with fresh eyes. The body of Christ at work….”

His response to me:

“This is what Jesus was talking about when He said that not even a cup of water given in His name will lose its reward! All of our collective efforts make His ministry here on earth possible. Every task matters. As Francis Schaeffer used to say, “There are no little people.”

So maybe it wasn't so much the pride of working for a prestigious man but the honor of working for a humble servant of God and knowing that's not my part in the body of Christ anymore that has me feeling weepy (coupled with moving away from my friends). What I do have to look forward to is all the eternal glories of all the people rescued into family of God because I helped one man get to China, France, Africa, Spain, Phoenix, Florida. And his work multiplies as each person he plants a seed with goes forward with their own new seeds.

And so I will miss being apart of something so big and glorious.

Confession, Mourning and Redemption

Last week I handed over the reigns. I will no longer be assistant to the senior pastor. I found this to be a challenging task. I guess I never realized how much I liked the power of working for a "prestigious" man. (Even though he is extremely humble.) I lost my power. I realized that I had had secret pride because of my position of power. Rarely, did I brag on my boss -but I liked the idea that I had boss I could brag on.


I repented of this pride.


Then, I started to mourn the prospect of leaving my job completely. Being uprooted from the place that has been my home, haven and occasional headache for the last 4 years. Not seeing the people who have poured into my life at work or being near to my friends and former roommates has been suffocating me.

I have been weepy for days.


I have almost always worked in a meaningful job. Either working with children in some capacity on in my present job at the church. I may end up working in a "secular" job and not able to contribute to the cause for Christ as I have been. But God has reminded me of the fact that where ever I end up working in the next few weeks or months I have a special reward waiting for me someday. And maybe my contributions will just be different in a new place.

I'll post the specific of the "redemption" separately.

Salmon Cakes

One day my old roommates were busy in the kitchen mixing up a bowlful of pink meat. "What are you making?" "Salmon cakes. Do you want one?" one said. "Sure I'll try one." I replied and proceeded to eat the most delectable seafood dish ever! It was like a little piece of heaven in my mouth! They quickly came the house favorite and the "one" dish I could rely one to make for company.

But salmon in a pouch (that's what we used) is not that cheap. Walter and I wanted to make up a batch for lunches this week. We saw that the canned salmon was on sale half the price for twice the amount of meat in a pouch. SO we bought 4 cans!

I opened one can and it was all watery and then I saw its spine and I about hurled. This explains the tapered shape of the can. This also explains what the can means when its says "Traditional Style." They cut up a fish and stick the whole slice of fish in a can! I was completely grossed out. Walter had to pick out the bones. We now have a ton of them in the frig. but the joy of eating them has been diminished by the intimate knowledge we had of the fish before he got crumbled up and mixed in with eggs and mayo.

I'm happy to post the recipe if someone asks... just whatever you do buy the salmon in a pouch unless you have a thing for fish bones...
It may be a while before I feel an urge to make them again

Honeymoon Highlights

We went to Gatlinburg, Tennessee and Asheville, North Carolina. We enjoyed ourselves. I of course loved all the streams and creeks in the Smoky Mountain National Park. I think Walter liked the cable TV best!

This is about the only way I can get Walter to have his picture taken. He is so stubborn!









This is the bear we saw. That was the coolest thing that we saw. I real live bear in the woods... you don't get any wilder than that for this suburban girl!










Then there was the Biltmore Estate... which brought grandeur to a whole new level for me. What an incredible construction!

Wedding Pictures

Here is Carrie my life long friend and her daughter Riely. Riely did actually manage to make it down the aisle despite being an unpredictably 16 month old!

There I am in the grass looking pensive...

Carrie and I are in the Prayer Garden. The was really perfect - because it was overcast we weren't squinting at the sun!

Daddy's Little Girl Dance - only we danced to Moonlight Serenade because whenever I hear that song I think of all the times I danced on my daddy's toes as a little girl.

My mom took all these pictures. Hopefully when I get the professional ones back I can post some. We are really excited to see what the pink tree photos end up looking like. The photographer laid on the ground and looked up and Walter and I with the pink petals all around. I think it will turn out really cool I just hope our faces end up looking good too!

Peach Cookies

These Delectable Morsels where provided for the shower by my cousin Lorraine. She is famous for making these lovely Italian Cookies and thanks to the wonders of the Internet I found a nice story and recipe that I can paste - here.

The recipe looks pretty similar to how I have heard Lorraine explain them. Someday maybe I will try them.

My Shower

I need to play a little catch up because important events have happened... very blog worthy events and I have just not had the time or energy or Internet connection. So....

On March 1, my mom and friend Carrie hosted my Bridal Shower at a Tea Room. It was an absolutely lovely day. It was everything I could have ever hoped for in a Bridal Shower - there were NO corny games!

We had tea, finger sandwiches and little pastries. There was lovely music playing in the background and all my female family and friends were gathered together. What made it even more special for me is that everyone was asked to where a hat. (Because I collect hats and love to wear them.) So it was fun to see everyone in hats. Some where old some were new some where borrowed. Everyone seem to enjoy themselves - even those who are in general Bridal-Showered-Out!

I arrived in a green hat - because it was cold out that day.

This me, my matron of honor Carrie and my mom. I am in the hat Walter's mom sent for me.

Mom and here good friend Dianne. I came home exhausted. I couldn't believe how tired I was but I was so happy. I talked about how wonderful my shower was for days!

Some of the other really special things that happened during the shower...

My friend Nancy came all the way down from Hoboken!

My aunt Roz gave me a pin cushion that belonged to Grandmom Mary. She is my cousin's other Grandma but she was like my own too. I loved her dearly. So it is nice to have something of hers to remind of her spunky practical ways.

And cousin Lorraine made peach cookies... more on them next

Die Hard Dancing

They might eat me for lunch if they find out this picture is now on my blog. Let's hope they don't see it...right away. Thanks to Monica, Joe, Lauren, Kat, and Don they were my die hard dancing buddies at my April 26th wedding. When everyone else had left and the tables had been cleared the DJ was still playing. So we danced and danced till I finally told them I couldn't dance anymore and let them go home!

More to come on the wedding -for those too curious to wait - in a few simple words: elegant, perfect weather, pink trees, pink flowers, lovely people and a wonderful husband for the new Mrs. Higgins.

Wedding Eve

Well, my dress is hanging in the attic. I walked up there yesterday to get something and I said to myself, "That's my wedding dress." And I almost got choked up.

My room here at the house is almost empty. I am sitting on the floor with the computer and my leg is falling asleep. I only have my bed, computer, some clothes and toiletries left. I still have a bit within the house that I need to go through and pull out. All the rest of my stuff is at Walter's mostly all unpacked and in its new place. It kind of weird.

The rehearsal dinner is tonight. Uncle Tom and Aunt Pat should be flying right now. Gene, Amanda and Marco came in last night. All but 4 of my family members will be there tomorrow. They are all so excited for me.

Sometimes I still can't believe it. But then I say to myself, "Don't insult God by doubting His work here." That's been helping!

Violets for Jeanie

For the last several years, I have brought a little bundle of violets to my 2 dear old neighbors - Jeanie and Mrs. V. I guess I started doing this traditionally because Jeanie mentioned one day that when she was growing up there was a plot of land that was loaded with violets. However, I think the first time I did it, I did it just because I wanted to bring them flowers. So I have made it a little tradition.

This spring, as I have been busy with Walter and wedding preparations I haven't been back to my parents as much. But I would see the violets at my house and think of Jeanie and Mrs. V. Yesterday, I was outside at my dad's and I spied the violets and automatically started picking them -with Jeanie in mind.

I gathered them up and knocked on her door. She said with what looked like a little mist in her eyes that she had been to visit Mrs. V. (who is now quite senile) just that day and was talking with her about how every April Elizabeth brings us violets. She had said that she guessed they wouldn't get them this year. Jeanie isn't sure if Mrs. V. remembered me and Jeanie tried to explain to her that I was getting married this weekend. I had always hoped that Mrs. V would be there to dance at my wedding. Alas, she is not strong enough to attend. But somehow I know she will be there in spirit.

Sometimes we do things and they seem so small maybe even bordering on corny. Then, you find out just how much small things are appreciated by the people you do them for and it makes you glad that you took the time to do it year after year.

Hope in India

I have a fascination with India and I at times grieve over the injustices of women there. I got involved with Shared Hope International which works to rescue women caught in sex trafficking. I wish I could do more than send the occasional check...

Last month, they sent out a picture of a beautiful, smiling, young woman. On the back of the car it said:

"No one smiled where Sunni was held captive in the desperate brothel district of Mumbai, India. But today, thanks to your generosity and the healing hand of God, Sunni is not only smiling... she's in love! Sunni will be married in April - a dream she never thought would come true."

And I thought to myself as I got all choked up, "Sunni I am getting married in April too and I use to think it would never happen for me." And I was amazed how this far away Indian woman who was rescued from a brothel !! could be used to remind me that April weddings happen all over the world. Dreams come true...

April 21, 2005

I was looking for inspiration. I found this from my prayer journal for April 21, 2005.

"... I thought today especially after my walk yesterday (near where I work) I really want to get married in April. I really love April. The light green colors as trees are coming back to life. The pink petaled trees, the swirling pink petals in the air. The goldfish in the pond. The pink petals resting gingerly on the water, the fish and petals moving to their own current. It was poetry in motion.

So I'd really like to get married in April. I've never had much of an opinion about my wedding... But there is something about April that inspires trust. We don't have to worry about the flowers of April forgetting to bloom. They happen whether we worry about it or not. There is something so nice about waking up one day and the grey have become green, yellow and pink.

I am getting sleepy but I am so thankful about how beautiful this spring has been it has truly ministered to my diseased soul."

I had forgotten that I ever thought that April inspires trust. How interesting because I needed to be reminded of that.

Inquiring Minds Want to Know

Well at least Brandy is wondering...

From my lack of blogging you would think I have been busy. Yes, you could say that you could also say that my poorly set up computer desk is just not conducive to wanting to blog late at night when I am finally home from work, fed, errands run and mind wasted on American Idol or House.

So what's new? A new TV came in the mail this week. The girl taking my place at the House in May bought a new one. It is the best picture I have seen in years! Walter said we couldn't get a new one, but then he hasn't seen this one. I think a new TV would solve his static problems.

Lately for me, its like Christmas everyday! Its fun to see who sent RSVP cards and sometimes there are boxes from Bed, Bath and Beyond!

On March 1 my mom and Carrie had my family & friends Bridal Shower. (I will post pictures another day.) On March 26 the ladies at work threw me a shower. I am amazed at the generosity of people. Both showers were a great blessing to me.

On St. Patrick's Day, (the anniversary of our 1st Date) we went to get a marriage license. It actually took us longer to find a parking spot than to get a license to get married! We had our final session with the pastor. Then, we took my car to the shop because Walter was afraid my tire was about to blow. We were fortunate that the mechanic could take care of it that day. We took the train to Philadelphia to buy wedding bands. Gold is high these days so its not a good time to buy gold rings. Later that night we went to the place we had our first date - Ruby Tuesdays.

I am starting to feel the pinch of last minute things. I have decided not to worry about where Walter's parents will stay. He said that it was their responsibility - this is good for me.
I need to choose songs for the ceremony. I am hoping their will be some nice pink flowers in bloom for the reception centerpieces and that the weather will be nice.

Walter and his dad got new suits today. That's a weight off my mind. I have also begun to move my things over to his apartment. Over half of my books are there and most of my hanging clothes. My mom and I spent most of Saturday cleaning the apartment from top to bottom (Walter is out of town) its squeaky clean and Murphy oiled, windows were glistening and all dust bunnies had been properly sucked up.

So that's what has been going on. Oh yeah, I am looking for a new job and looking forward to seeing the dentist on the 8th. To be honest, I am looking forward to the dentist more than I am looking for or forward to finding a new job!

For all the "stresses", decisions or changes that are soon to be taking place I much rather have them than not have Walter or the pleasure of marrying him.

Surrounded

I have faint memories of being surrounded as a young child. Surrounded by Weeble Wobbles, coloring books, Playskool's Sesame Street, and dolls while watching T.V. I could never just sit still and do one thing.

As you can see from the picture, things haven't changed I am still often surrounded! Only this time it wasn't Weeble Wobbles or even my grown up "toy" -quilting. This time its all the little enclosures that go into wedding invitations!

6,307, 200 to Go

I was reminded via a bouquet of Valentine Flowers that there are only 6,307,200 seconds to go until the Wedding Day. I will stick to thinking in terms of days not seconds. Besides I have always had trouble saying numerical words for anything over a hundred thousand.

Now a frequent question I get is "How are the wedding plans going?"
And great progress has been made. Why people say you need a year to plan a wedding is beyone me.

So far we have a wedding dress & veil, photographer, a caterer (menu is selected), DJ is reserved, the invitations arrived today, and florist has been booked. Mom has her dress, Dad has a new suit and mom found the cutest little pale pink dress for our flower girl at TJMaxx.

There has been some consternation over colors which is not fully decided yet but by God there will be pink flowers! So now all that is left to do is little stuff, favors, addressing envelopes, picking out music for the play list & ceremony, finding a bridesmaid dress (ok this one is not so little), arrange who sits where at the reception, pick out flowers etc. I am sure there are lots of other things, but for the most part I am remaining calm. The hardest part is done and that is getting the groom and I Thank God for him. He's done good.

Punch Buggy - Yellow

Just as I come out of my driveway and groggily approach a stop sign there is a yellow VW beetle at the corner house. It's like a little bit of summer in the winter gray gloom. I find that some mornings it serves as a little bright morning pick me up. And Lord knows I need all the help I can get as I become increasinly more and more not a morning person!

More -From the Depths of My Nightstand

This is a scribbling of a funny happening with a preschool student. So this was probably 2001/ 2002. I'll change the name ;-)

5 year old "Scotty" showed up for preschool with dusty hair. On closer inspection I had a flashback to the high school drama club. Baby Powder! We used it to make our hair gray!

"Scotty, were you playing with baby powder?"

"No my baby sister was!" He said, in a matter of fact sort of way.

"Did you think to stop her so she wouldn't get into trouble?" I said.

With a squeal of delight (unique to him), "No, we were having too much fun!"

Oh preschoolers you got to love them!

From the Depths of My Nightstand

I cleaned out my nightstand drawer the other day. And found this old scribbling from 1999 - maybe 2000.

In the Center of All that Glory...
In the middle of chapel, I turned around and noticed one of my fellow teachers worshipping God. Her eyes were closed, her hand was lifted up and look of adoration and worship was on her face.
Now because it was "Spirit Week" at school, she was dressed in the school colors -blue and gold. She had blue Christmas balls in a wreath around her head. She had blue and gold tinsel for hair. And she had blue lipstick on! She definitely had school spirit!

My first thought at seeing her worship was, what she must look like to God. I had already had my laugh over her outfit earlier. But here she is serious though looking ridiculous in the presence of God. Is He laughing at her too? or did He get that out of system before she left the house? The thing that struck me is that even though she looked silly there was nothing silly about her worship. That was heartfelt and serious and you could see that on her blue lipped face.

I still take this image to heart -years later- no matter how ridiculous we look on the outside God only sees a heart that is truly worshipping.

The Gospel

So I want to share the epiphany I had today.

Sunday, the pastor was teaching on the Abrahmaic covenant in Genesis 15. Where God asks Abraham to kill some animals and line the pieces up to make a pathway to walk through. In those days when you made a covenant with someone the person promising to do something would walk through the aisle of slaughtered animals indicating that if I don't hold up my end of the bargain you have the right to do to me what was done to these animals. Abraham should have been the one to walk through thus accepting the blessing AND the curses of this covenant.

When the sun had set and darkness had fallen, a smoking firepot with a blazing torch appeared and passed between the pieces. (Gen 15: 17)

But Abraham didn't have to walk through - God did it. He took on the repercussions of our sin and failures. He has taken the curses for us. This is the gospel. This is why God continues to be merciful.

So I was lying on the chiropractor's table today having been all bent of shape for a couple days...
and in talking to the Dr. things became even more clearer to me in light of Sunday's sermon.

I have at times in my life felt dashed to pieces by boyfriends (and quasi-boyfriends,) classmates, society in general, even God. I have spent the last 2-3 years really working to put the pieces back together or clear away the pieces that are stumbling blocks to me. Its a slow process, but I believe that because I have moved in this direction (rather than stay in my rut) Walter was able to find me.

She (the chiropractor) asked me to picture Moses and the Burning Bush and let God continue to burn away the old patterns and fears that have been apart of me for so long. And I thought also of God's blazing torch passing through the pieces.

This is the epiphany part that I shared with her as it all became clearer to me. Though I may have let myself be dashed to pieces in the past. That is a pattern God has now shown me I never have to fall victim to again. I will never be dashed pieces of meat. God has taken that on himself for me.

Knowing this, realizing this, feeling this I know God can be trusted.

I gotta wonder if Abraham felt a little like I did when I left her office - a little shaken up at the realization of what God committed to do (for me), but also really thankful. Really thankful.