The Pink Chair

The pink chair is a hand me down from my old job. It really is the shabbiest thing - there I admit it.
But I love this chair! There are those who want me to at least have it reupholstered. I am not sure.

How many times did I plop down on this chair in Jim's office and pour out my troubles with work or life... usually more life than work.

Jim would offer words of wisdom and counsel. The pink chair is symbolic. It is a testimony of wonderful counsel I received while sitting in it, whether from Jim or the others there. I changed -in my head and heart - for the better. How can you cover that up?

Perhaps I will start with at least covering up the arm rests. And go from there. Perhaps its new use - that as a place to feed baby will inspire a new color ... until then pink and shabby it will remain.

No Donkey huh?

So I have been thinking a lot about Mary making the trek with Joseph to be counted in the census. My thoughts comprised whether she had a certain look or a certain way she said "Joseph" that let him know that she needed to "go" again. I mean you go a lot when you are 9 months pregnant!

I mentioned this to the pastor I work with saying it must have been difficult getting on and off the donkey at 9 months pregnant too and of course multiple times because she had to "go."

He said no where in the Bible does it say that Mary rode on a donkey at all. I read all the Christmas scriptures there is no donkey! Just one of the many assumption made about Christmas. I mean how many movies depict this? How many Christmas greeting cards picture Mary sitting side saddle on a donkey with Joseph leading the way?

So maybe she didn't have to get up and down maybe she just walked the 100+/- miles. I am not sure which was worse. Miles walking on sore swollen feet doesn't sound fun either. To be sure she didn't have my fabulous -albeit stained- Easy Spirit shoes! Donkey or not, surely Joseph was a sympathetic travel companion for this heavy with child woman who probably needed to stop to visit an obliging rock or bush more than once.

A friend told me when she was pregnant during Christmas that she saw Christmas from a different perspective. I had have to say the same. I have thought about more than frequent urination while traveling. The carols we sing about the infant Jesus touch my heart differently now. It is refreshing to see Christmas from this different perspective. I suspect that I will see Christmas from a different perspective next year too.

Hormones and Shoes

I have been known to cry over Hallmark commercials. My husband thinks I am ridiculous. To be sure, over the course of the last few months of had my moments of crying over ridiculous things and some not so ridiculous things - like shoes.

There came a point a couple weeks ago where my shoes just didn't fit anymore. So I had to find something in a brown shoe that would fit my fat feet!

I was at the outlets in Lancaster and I came across a shoe that would work. But in the end, I decided to wait and see if I could find something better. Wow, did I find something better!
I saw an EasySpirit store and decided to check out what they had.
They had this beauty...OK maybe not the most beautiful shoe but it quite possibly the most comfortable shoe I have ever worn. So you can imagine my utter despair when I dropped a piece of cauliflower cooked in chicken thighs on top of one of them. I cried. I cursed. I wailed to my husband, "they are the only shoes that fit me and they are ruined." Did I mention I cried.... for 3 days. I was just sick over these shoes. We tried baking powder, Dawn, Shout, a sponge, a toothbrush...

And in the end, I have a slightly imperfect shoe. The dye is a little washed out. But they are still just as comfortable as they ever were and I hardly notice the discoloration now. Honestly, they turned out much better than I feared.

I still can't believe how emotional I got over these shoes though. Something like hormones took over any sense I had. But I guess you'll have that sometimes.

Leaping Through Stress

Leaping through stress, I wish I could say that was the verb I am living right now. My action verbs right now are more like dwelling on stress, listing stressors, and praying for solutions for my stresses. Ok so I am praying but I can't say I feel like I am making much headway just yet.

I compiled a list yesterday of 15+ stressful items. Some piddly and supposedly easy to solve others that will require the movement of God's provision - probably at the last minute!

Driving home tonight, I was thinking I need some kind of vacation.
Then someone spoke up with its little hand or foot and this verse came to mind.

Luke 1: 39-45 - Mary Visits Elizabeth

³⁹At that time Mary got ready and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judea, ⁴⁰where she entered Zechariah's home and greeted Elizabeth. ⁴¹When Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. ⁴²In a loud voice she exclaimed: "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! ⁴³But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? ⁴⁴As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. ⁴⁵Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!"

I thought to myself, "Huh maybe the little leap I just felt is what Elizabeth felt when Mary and the invitro Jesus showed up at the door." To be sure any leaping I felt is being caused by stress -not the incarnate Jesus- but it was also a little mental vacation. I felt that I could relate to this woman in a different way, and I could imagine that what I have been feeling she had felt too. Momentarily, I felt like I had leaped out of my own stress and into some new perspective and felt just a little bit refreshed.

Always Blooming

I have watched these flowers for the last few months. I sometimes felt like they were living in their own little alternate reality like Narnia - always blooming, never dying.

Even when all the other flowers around it faded and died this clump of flowers never stopped blooming. Now I suppose the landlord's mother could have cut off the deadheads before I ever I had a chance to see them. But I don't know for sure.

I have deeply enjoyed their happy bright, bright yellow, the unblemished petals and the way they stand out among the crowd as if to say, " I am picture of perfection - enjoy me." So I have.

A Glimpse of the Slots

On vacation this year we went to Howe Caverns. It was a highlight on an otherwise kind of frustrating holiday. When your trip revolves around driving steam cars that go back to 1913 to 1923 you have to expect breakdowns. So you have to expect... frustration too. But for Howe Cavern day, we took a regular car because it was a pretty long drive.

Like most caverns there were stalagmites and stalactites and a cool 55ish degree temperature. Howe Caverns has something I never saw before and the tour guide saved the best for last.
It was a glimpse into the place I long to go. I believe the guide called it the "Winding Way" but it looked just like a gray Slot Canyon.

Oh how I long to go to Slot Canyon. This tour through the cave was like a glimpse of the Slot Canyon. It wasn't warm and sunny and bright or colorful but it has the striations and the waves. It has the curves and the feel of moving along through a tunnel -long ago carved out by moving water. It was really quite exhilarating!

Boasting

I am trying to read through the Bible in chronological order. Its taking a while. I always get stuck in Jeremiah. It was probably 15 years ago the last time I attempted it. Here I am slugging my way through it again.

Jeremiah 9 was just full of wailing, desolation, and sin hardly inspiring until I go to this:

²³Thus says the LORD:
"Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom,
let not the mighty man boast in his might,
let not the rich man boast in his riches,

²⁴but let him who boasts boast in this,
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the LORD who
practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth.
For in these things I delight, declares the LORD."

Can there be anything more inspiring that inspite of our sin, desolation, and tears we have a God who understands and know us. He practices (the NIV uses exercises) steadfast love, justice and righteousness. And he delights in in exercising love, justice and righteousness on us. All this right there in Jeremiah... I guess I will keep reading.

Images of Summer

The Couple
A couple times now, I have come to an intersection at the same time as them. Who is "them"?
A tall, gray haired couple holding hands and huffing at good clip up an incline. He has a Santa Claus beard and wiry, fly away hair. She always wears a kilt and a plaid shirt that doesn't remotely match. I always wait and let them cross the street first. I watch them and smile and I can just hear my friend say, "Bless their heart. Aren't they just precious." And they are.

Dad's Fig Tree
For years my dad has struggled with fig trees. In our area they require a lot of tender, love and care. He gave it amply but often received no fruit for his efforts. Now -finally- he has a fig tree that is so large. It looks to be budding with more fruit than he will know what to do with. I recall the bowlful of figs presented to us nearly 8 years ago when we were in Italy. I don't know if they will be comparable but its nice to see he is about to get some reward for all his work.

The Perfect Pool
I took a dip in the pool one day last week. It was delightful and refreshing and crystal clean. The temperature was perfect. That's a first for me and this pool.

The Peach Smoothie
With the removal of my useless blender-ing appliance and the receiving of a new one from mom's yardsale find, we have been enjoying peach smoothies. I froze the peaches for this purpose. I mixed them with apple juice and an occasional kiwi. They are perfectly sweet and coldly refreshing. Not to mention highly nutritious.

These are just a few images from my summer thus far. No pictures, you just have to use your imagination... particularly when imagining "them".

Saying a Final Good Bye

The twinkling Christmas lights on the porch gave a feel of festivity and welcoming home. The green and white beckoned me to enter. I remember the first time I walked in. I knew immediately I was at home.

Not the kind of home that comes with parents and remnants of childhood still up in the attic and in the backs of closets, but a new different kind of home. A home so full of history, its a wonder the walls don't talk. A home this seems to hold you in the palm of its hand and wraps its walls around you like a blanket. A home that nurtured despite leaking pipes or peeling lead paint. I felt so blessed and honored to become a part of the ongoing history.

Then there were the others living in the house. They offered so much to the experience of this special home. Wonderful, witty and vibrant women who loved candlelit dinners on the porch, snuggling up with cats and cozy blankets while watching PBS and offering words of wisdom and comfort when life outside the house got tough.

It has been over a year since I got married and moved out of the house, I have at times deeply missed this home and my friends. I still had a key partly because I just couldn't give it up and partly because there were still remnants of mine there that I might need to get one day. But I gave up the key this week and said a final good-bye to the house. You see those wonderful women I lived with are moving on. Its almost tragic to think of them not being there and of my home belonging to someone else.

I can't help but wonder did that glorious, nurturing, in the palms of His hands feeling always belong to that house or did it descend on the house 8 +/- years ago when a handful of recent college graduates needed a place to live and God opened the door of this home... His home for all of us however short or long our stay. Regardless of how long, I hope the feeling continues for the new tenants or owners so they to can know the joy and honor of living in such a home.

No matter where I live and no matter who lives there this home will always be in my heart.

Vicariously in Italy

One of my former students found me on Facebook a couple months ago. He had come across this picture I sent to him years ago of me "holding up" the Leaning Tower of Pisa. He wanted to let me know that he was going to Italy for a 6 week semester.
I was more than thrilled to hear from him and even more thrilled to hear his news! Having been single for so long, I had the great opportunity of doing a lot of traveling and I desperately wanted my students to see the world too!

So he is there now enjoying all the sights, smells and tastes of Italy. I living vicariously through him by reading his blog and Facebook updates! As his old teacher, I am filled with unspeakable pride when I see the skill with which he writes and the insight and imagery he uses to enable us to be there with him. I am just so glad that he is getting this experience. It is the fulfillment of my longheld desires for my students - to see God's world and explore of much of it as they can.

Springtime at Longwood

I've been averaging 1-2 walks a week at Longwood and it is amazing how they keep it ever changing. There is always something new popping out. One thing I love is the sweet fragrance that permeates the pathways. Sometimes its like you are walking through a perfumery. In some places, you just catch a whiff of sweetness as a breeze blows and then it is gone.

The colors are vibrant, they feel even more vibrant when they stand all together.

My dress blows in the breeze and brushes past the tulips...

So I will keep taking my beautiful walks... I can't say that I am losing the pounds I want to but at least I am not putting more on!

First Pie

I have never been much of a pie person. I prefer a quick bread made of old bananas and baseball bat size zucchini. For years my friend told me pie dough is easier than I think. So with my trusty Kitchen Aid mixer and last years blueberries I set out to make a pie for Easter dessert.

I used a recipe from the Williams and Sonoma Pie cookbook. It called for 4 cups of blueberries but I only had 3. Undaunted I decided to supplement with the apples neither of us were eating.

The mid-way results... I tried not think of the shredded apples as anything but shredded apple. Because it kind of looked like worms...

The finished product was attractive to look at as well as eat. For a first attempt, I'd say I was well pleased. Dad and Hubby enjoyed their slices too. I am looking forward to fruit season. I am dreaming of strawberries, cherries and peaches and if I can find a way to make coconut custard without dairy I'll be one happy pie making fool!

Tax Tea Party

I went to a tea party yesterday... a tax day tea party. I was planning to go to town anyway for a massage. Then, I found out that there was a tea party planned for the corners of State and Union in Kennett Square, PA which was exactly where I was headed! So I figured I would try to do both.

As luck would have it, I had time before my appointment so I joined in with the protesters. It was raining but people didn't seem to mind they just put clear plastic bags over their protest signs. We waved tea bags, American flags, and a "Don't tread on me" flag at the cars as they drove by and many people honked their cars horns in solidarity. For as liberal as this area is I was impressed by the turn out and the honks. A good 50 people were there.

It was a beautiful sight to see these die-hard Americans protest our governments spending and taxing habits. We pay too much. When I think of all the things I could do with my tax money... and when I hear about all the things they spend on that are really behind the scope of what our fore fathers envisioned for government.... It is staggering and kind of depressing.

I felt proud to be American yesterday standing in the rain with people who have also feel they are Taxed Enough Already.

Beautiful Exercise

I have been stopping at Longwood Gardens after work to walk. It has been glorious. Each time I go I find some new delight popping up or blooming. Last week, there were pools of purple flowers growing in the grass. If you didn't get there on the right days you missed out. Today they were gone because the grass was newly mowed. Going there makes exercising a beautiful thing.

Stunning News

With the last post in mind...

I heard marvelous news this week, news that has left me breathless and excited. In the wonder of the news, I want to spend some time reveling in the God who made it happen and not just what happened. This is a subtle perspective shift but I think it may result in more adoration directed to a worthy God.

I rejoice with a friend who I quoted here 2 year ago. She is at long last engaged. The prayers that have been prayed over the years for these dear woman are beyond counting. As much as I am happy with the results/answer, I so want to adore God who listens, comforts and with great mercy bestows just because it is in His nature.

I rejoice with a dear couple who have had multiple miscarriages but have this week reached a pivotal point - the 2nd Trimester! If all continues to go well, they will have 2nd son in October.
So I give adoration to God who inspires perseverance, who comforts heartache and has such abundant grace and mercy.

God's Grace and Mercy can there be anything more stunning and exciting and breathtaking?

It can (and should) be the headline news everyday. News that never gets stale and always makes your jaw drop.

A Trip with Tripp on a Perspective Shift

I watched this video clip of Paul Tripp today... it was like a trip out of my frazzled, frustrated and cranky day. (anything in quotes came from the video)




He talked about the "dirty secret of the church"... that the church is full of people with fear, doubt, anxiety and disappointment all that stuff the world has. Christians don't have it together that's clear when I look in the mirror. And why? because of where we put our focus and where we "run to".

When we run to anything other than God, "who is always with us" we will only find disappointment, fear, anxiety, bitterness, frustration etc...

When we experience those things it is clear we have lost our balance and forgotten what we need to always remember that "God is always with us."

The end of the video was most moving to me, he speaks of the tragedy that people say, "God hasn't become this thing that stuns me. That leaves me breathless and leaves me excited."

What a poke to the heart that is. I am ashamed that so often I am not stunned, I am not breathless and I am not excited by God. And, when I am stunned, breathless and excited its because of what He has done not because who He is.

Speechless Again

I was saddened to hear about that private plane crash in Montana. Seven beautiful young children -gone- along with their parents.

Then I read here... (you can read it yourself but I will summarize)

The plane crashed next to or in Holy Cross Cemetery near Butte, Montana. In this cemetery, there is the Tomb of the Unborn. A memorial to all those children aborted in our country.

The irony is that 9 of the people on the plane were directly related to of Irving 'Bud' Feldkamp, owner of the largest for-profit abortion chain in the nation....

I won't judge its not my place but I can't help myself from standing wide eyed and draw dropped at this news.

On some level, this reads like a page out of the Old Testament where some wicked person/nation is disseminated in God's wrath. It looks like God has exacted justice/punishment/consequences in such a tangible way. It reinforces in me that I never want to be in the hands of an angry God or God who has just had enough.

I feel there has been a paradigm shift within myself. A shift into a deeper realization that God means what He says. He means business. He knows what He is doing. And who are we to question or doubt how He chooses to punish or bless humanity.

I continue to feel stunned and speechless yet with a renewed sense of "the fear of Lord".

I can only hope the Feldkamps find comfort and repentance and that somehow this tragedy will be used to end abortion... somehow that only God can control and fructify.

Concidences... I think Not

From CNN: "Connie and Donald McCracken were watching CNN one evening last week when they learned of the tragic death of actress Natasha Richardson from a head injury. Immediately, their minds turned to their 7-year-old daughter, Morgan, who was upstairs getting ready for bed."

Morgan got hit in the head by a baseball 2 today earlier and seemed fine. The night they were watching the news about Natasha is the night Morgan got a headache. A headache became severe very quickly. With Natasha in mind the McCrackens took Morgan to the hospital. The neurosurgeon got her in the nick of time. Morgan did indeed have the same injury that Natasha had. (Full story here at CNN) Thankfully, she has survived.

If I were Liam (Natasha's husband) I would feel like at least some good has come out her death. I would imagine its like the bittersweet knowledge of knowing that deceased loved one lives on in the people who were helped through organ donation. Their loved may be gone but their heart, liver, kidneys etc live on. Natasha may be gone but will more people wear helmets now when skiing? Will more people seek medical attention when they get hit in the head? All thanks to Natasha and her freak accident...

I can't help but wonder what lies in store for young Morgan. What will she bring to the world?
Its no coincidence she is still with us. It was all perfectly planned.

Knowing and believing that leaves me a little speechless. Not the first time this week.

Sweet Peas

I love how Longwood Garden with all its elaborate and planned out gardens has carved out a little alcove for the Sweet Pea. A long time favorite of mine, I've planted them along the fence at my parents house each May for years. Whenever I sniff them I think of the Keats' poem I happened to memorize ...

Sweet Pea (Delicate Pleasures)

"Here are sweet peas, on tip-toe for a flight With wings of gentle flusho'er delicate white, And taper fingers catching at all things To bind them all about with tiny rings." ~ Keats

It continues to tickle me pink that they have filled what could have been an empty barren passageway into this special side stage of delight! And I indulge in the sweet scents each time I have been there the last few months.

On Relaxation

How is this for stating the obvious?

"When you are always tense, tensing less is relaxed."

Profound... not my quote but it really resonated with me. So much so I felt I had to blog it ;-)

Fresh Insights

"Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun." -- Psalm 37:5-6

Does my righteousness shine like the dawn?
What is my cause? Because God is ready to make it shine like the noonday sun!

Seems to me I have read Psalm 37 a zillion times, after all it contains every single person's most bittersweet verse:

^"4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart."

Lord knows I waited a long time to see one particular desire of my heart fulfilled. I would say that my righteousness and my causes rank in there somewhere. I just can't say I have given it too much thought lately.

There are still desires both fleshly and spiritual that I still long for. These other verses really struck me with fresh revelation this week though. They have been reverberating around in my head as I wrestle items that would seek to wreck havoc with my righteousness and trust.

Tonight I was tempted to cry myself silly as I wrestled something to ground, but what will that do to my already congested head!

Instead I'll just adore rather than wrestle. Shine Jesus Shine forget any woes is mes you heard earlier from me.

Stringing Things Together

About 3 years ago I met with a woman for some counseling. She was instrumental in helping me slay some demons. One of the verses she had me focus on was Psalm 84: 7

They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion.

We both knew I needed strength to do what I had to do. I would try to visualize what it would look like to go from strength to strength so that I could live it out.

Even after the "demon" was successful slayed there were still residual effects that had to be dealt with over time. Now, I am looking back and reflecting on what God has done in these past 3 years. I am seeing how "strength to strength" have been people. God has strung together a series of people who have offered tangible strength, wisdom & expertise.

I am abounding with wonder and thankfulness over the way God strings things together as I go from strength to strength and He works His wonders and answers my prayers.

Birds, Birds, Birds

Driving home from work last week, I noticed what looked like a lot of birds. I was amazed at the sheer number. That is until I got a good look at the sheer number. There were so many birds it was like a black ribbon in the sky stretching on for MILES. When I say miles I mean miles! I drove for a good 10 minutes and the birds just kept coming. They were coming as if they had been released from a cage -maybe a cage called winter? Then, I started driving in a different direction and I couldn't see them anymore.

I happen to tell the pastor about my amazement over the birds and he said he has seen them before. Sometimes they'll sit in the trees around his property. He agreed there are a lot of them! He thought it was ironic or rather providential that I brought this story up just before he was about to work on his sermon. He opened his PowerPoint slide to this verse Matthew 6:26:

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

So many birds and yet God knows them all.

I saw the birds again later that week in a completely different area. So I guess they get around. But I was drawn back to the verse the pastor brought up. In the light of some of the things I worry about why do I bother? All of those birds are in his care surely I am too...

The birds also reminded me what this blog is really all about - drawing attention to the small things that really aren't that small. Those amazing things that we get glimpses of that remind to notice what is around us because hope, glory and wonder do abound in this world.

Leftover Ramblings

We love leftovers for lunch because frequently they look like this...


That's a nice looking lunch of leftover isn't?
Hubby emailed me, "Looked so good I photographed it."

I appreciate the appreciation because I do put a lot of thought into what I will make during the week so that we can be sure to have leftovers... leftovers that hubby can enjoy and my co-workers drool over. ;-)

I made this 6-7 inch long bottom round roast last for 11 meals! We had it with pierogies and then I made stroganoff with pasta. Good stuff... I am even learning to write down the recipes that come out good.

Now if only I had a dishwasher to keep up with all my leftovers.

Together Again

In July 2006, my neighbor Charlie passed away. He was a fixture in my life. He let me use his little greenhouse to start my seeds back when my green-thumb was young and energetic. My deep love of hollyhocks started in that greenhouse -long since torn down. In the last few years of his life, you would frequently find him sitting in an old lawn chair under an oak tree. He was usually napping. It grieved me deeply when the chair was removed. I still picture it there when I drive by and remember him and then think about his wife Mary - who was still hanging in there.

Mary always knew what was going on in the neighborhood. Their porch was the place to be in the evening. I'd just go and sit for awhile or until the mosquitoes got too bad...She was always asking me, "So how's your love life?" And she really wanted to know. She really wanted the answer to be a good one. I was so happy to finally introduce her to my love while she could still appreciate the news. She's been pretty frail and went senile after Charlie passed. It wasn't something I could bare to see. I wished she could be at my wedding and to see her dance as she once promised, but she was too frail to come.

Monday, Mary passed away too. Its sad because know era is ending but it is so good to know that Charlie and Mary are back together again. Its been hard to see them apart for so long.

Abounding Thanks

Sometimes I get to bogged down by logistics and how things will work out. And sometimes I get flustered when I need to communicate with people about the logistics I am trying to work out in my life. And sometimes I get upset when the logistics I have been trying to work out aren't working out.

And then I cry a little. And sometimes I cry a lot.

Then, somehow the logistics work themselves out. So much so that they are even better than anything I could have planned. And I know its God and I wonder why I got bogged, flustered and upset.

But, I get over it choosing rather to continually bask in the better outcome and abound in thanksgiving for working out logistics in my favor and for my own good.

Everyday Food

For 4 years, I ate lunch with one fabulous cook. At least I think he was good, I only sampled a couple things over the years. He explained in detail how he made each dish and everything always looked and smelled fantastic. I was never much for recipes. I usually made things up as I went along. But thanks to my lunch buddy I acquired a respect for the recipe. He introduced me to his 2 favorite sources of recipes... Williams and Sonoma and Everyday Food. I have become a fan of both myself.

Williams and Sonoma has produced such sweet creations as pecan pie made with maple syrup and the tasty concoction percolating in the crock-pot as I type.

Everyday Food is like a box of goodies for me. When it comes in the mail, I curl up on the sofa and slowly leaf through the little magazine looking at each pictured dish trying to decide, "is that something hubby and I would like to eat?" Then, I will turn the corner of recipes I want to try. I actually tried a lot of recipes and repeated the recipes too.

The books were piling up and so I came up with a quick reference plan for looking for a favorite recipe or when I need to be inspired. I stuck a post-a-note on the back of the magazine and listed the recipes that interested me + the page number. Its been working for me.

Everyday Food is keeping us well fed.