Monday, January 16, 2023

My Tribute to Kathy - Gardener, Mentor and Fighter

Kathy Vaczi spent most of her life in a wheelchair after being injured in a car accident. She raised 2 girls on her own, taught 2nd grade for decades, had a house built to suit her unique needs, fought for the needs of disabled people and kept an amazing garden.

Kathy was a larger-than-life type of person and because of this she left an indelible impression on me in my formative years. I am fortunate to have a treasure trove of memories and character development because of my time spent with her. 

I recall the time we went to the Philadelphia Flower Show. We ended up driving around from one car garage to another circling each level looking for a Van Assessable Handicap parking spot. The few spots were full. We just kept looking. It seemed like we spent 2 hours driving in circles and its possible we did spend that much time driving around. It was frustrating for both of us. A lesser person might have just scraped the plan and decided to do something else. But not Kathy. She was undaunted. Her persistence paid off; we eventually found an empty spot. We rejoiced and savored each display. She poured over the vendors dreaming up what she needed to make her yard even better. 

She taught me persistence and determination.  Kathy called on me to do some gardening tasks I wasn't always sure I could handle. Everything I learned about busting my ass for the sake of your garden I gained from her working me hard, pointing and directing - a little more this way or that way.  I remember vividly dividing up Hostas. I threw every pound of my little 100-pound self into dividing up those rooty beasts. I tried my hardest to make it happen, because I didn't want to let her down. Even though, I secretly wished one of her nephews would just do this task. I got it done each time and was sore the next day, but it was satisfying work.

Many times, I have taken on yard tasks - dividing up Ornamental Grass, turning over a vegetable garden one shovel-full at a time or went at weeds with the viciousness of a Viking. I managed each of those hard tasks because I had once done hard work for Kathy. She inspired me to work hard. She exuded determination and I should be like her. Miles and hours apart, she was always with me in the garden. She always will be.

She was a fighter, who used the tragedy to her body to show the world what can be done if you set your mind to it. If you work hard enough and if you have a good pointer to direct people willing to help, you can change the world.  Kathy fought for herself. She fought for others. She taught more than just reading and math but how to live life with determination, how to overcome the challenges that life throws at you and how to point and give good directions.

I am comforted in the fact that this great woman, who I always thought of as more than a friend, but a mentor has gone on to glory. I have no doubt she has heard the line we should all long to hear, "Well done my good and faithful servant." Her body is perfect now, no more pain, no more disabilities, and she can divide her own hostas now if she wants to.

You were a beautiful soul, and it was an honor to know you. 



Sunday, January 15, 2023

Grieving -

(This was written last January and sat in the drafts for the past year. Ironically, a year later I find myself grieving an old friend on practically the same day - just a year later.) 


A sad Saturday.  The tears rolled down and they would not stop. I thought of Dave, Tom, Jim, Mike, John and Tracy 4 taken in slow drawn out covid deaths and one so sudden it hit like ton of bricks. I thought of the widows and the fatherless. Memories from decades ago were all mixed in up in these thoughts. 

If someone had asked me what I was doing. The answer would have been - grieving. 

Just so many deaths in so short a time. Men - pillars of the church - who had hundreds and maybe 1000s of people praying for them. The answers were not what we wanted or expected.

There was anger too because early treatment is key. But that is a rage for another venue.

There was relief. My parents were recovering from covid as well, but it could have gone another way. 


Someone said about Tracy - His legacy is people. 

Once upon a time I thought this Blog might be my legacy. But I think people might be better.

I was feeling burned out. Teaching classes, coming up with ideas not always having someone to help out. I was getting disgruntled but listening to the people talk about Tracy and how he poured into them. Person after person. He poured into me. I became a more active worshipper because of him. He gave me opportunities to participate in worship that this recovering Catholic hadn't known or felt free to do yet.

I want to be like Tracy and be known as someone who pours into people. To have a legacy of people. Maybe not as many as he did... but at least a few. There was a shift in my attitude about teaching and co-ops. I had fresh eyes to see that it is important and what I do for these kids,

I was thankful for fresh eyes even though they were still swollen from all the tears.