Grieving -

(This was written last January and sat in the drafts for the past year. Ironically, a year later I find myself grieving an old friend on practically the same day - just a year later.) 

A sad Saturday.  The tears rolled down and they would not stop. I thought of Dave, Tom, Jim, Mike, John and Tracy 4 taken in slow drawn out covid deaths and one so sudden it hit like ton of bricks. I thought of the widows and the fatherless. Memories from decades ago were all mixed in up in these thoughts. 

If someone had asked me what I was doing. The answer would have been - grieving. 

Just so many deaths in so short a time. Men - pillars of the church - who had hundreds and maybe 1000s of people praying for them. The answers were not what we wanted or expected.

There was anger too because early treatment is key. But that is a rage for another venue.

There was relief. My parents were recovering from covid as well, but it could have gone another way. 

Someone said about Tracy - His legacy is people. 

Once upon a time I thought this Blog might be my legacy. But I think people might be better.

I was feeling burned out. Teaching classes, coming up with ideas not always having someone to help out. I was getting disgruntled but listening to the people talk about Tracy and how he poured into them. Person after person. He poured into me. I became a more active worshipper because of him. He gave me opportunities to participate in worship that this recovering Catholic hadn't known or felt free to do yet.

I want to be like Tracy and be known as someone who pours into people. To have a legacy of people. Maybe not as many as he did... but at least a few. There was a shift in my attitude about teaching and co-ops. I had fresh eyes to see that it is important and what I do for these kids,

I was thankful for fresh eyes even though they were still swollen from all the tears.