When on the verge of a birthday - a big one like 30 or 40 - you have a little time to prepare. The date is not going to change on you either. You know when it will happen. You can process and cry over it in the days, weeks and in my case months in advance. That is just how I work.
I process the drama of something before it happens so when I turned 30 I had had my breakdown about it months before. Though to be accurate I may have had a 2nd breakdown months after too!
When 40 was around the corner, I tackled it months before so I could make it a happy day.
But when the looming date is a closing date on a house. It is not a fixed date. There is wiggle room and a date that is out of my control.
You might say they keep moving my cheese.
My processing is all over the place. One minute I am thinking about paint colors and the next I am crying because its too soon there were things I wanted to finish up - classes, Bible Study.
So far I don't have a fixed date or a timeline to adjust too. So I am all over the calendar with hardly a dry eye on Sundays.
(written in the fall of 2015)
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