Wedding Eve

Well, my dress is hanging in the attic. I walked up there yesterday to get something and I said to myself, "That's my wedding dress." And I almost got choked up.

My room here at the house is almost empty. I am sitting on the floor with the computer and my leg is falling asleep. I only have my bed, computer, some clothes and toiletries left. I still have a bit within the house that I need to go through and pull out. All the rest of my stuff is at Walter's mostly all unpacked and in its new place. It kind of weird.

The rehearsal dinner is tonight. Uncle Tom and Aunt Pat should be flying right now. Gene, Amanda and Marco came in last night. All but 4 of my family members will be there tomorrow. They are all so excited for me.

Sometimes I still can't believe it. But then I say to myself, "Don't insult God by doubting His work here." That's been helping!

Violets for Jeanie

For the last several years, I have brought a little bundle of violets to my 2 dear old neighbors - Jeanie and Mrs. V. I guess I started doing this traditionally because Jeanie mentioned one day that when she was growing up there was a plot of land that was loaded with violets. However, I think the first time I did it, I did it just because I wanted to bring them flowers. So I have made it a little tradition.

This spring, as I have been busy with Walter and wedding preparations I haven't been back to my parents as much. But I would see the violets at my house and think of Jeanie and Mrs. V. Yesterday, I was outside at my dad's and I spied the violets and automatically started picking them -with Jeanie in mind.

I gathered them up and knocked on her door. She said with what looked like a little mist in her eyes that she had been to visit Mrs. V. (who is now quite senile) just that day and was talking with her about how every April Elizabeth brings us violets. She had said that she guessed they wouldn't get them this year. Jeanie isn't sure if Mrs. V. remembered me and Jeanie tried to explain to her that I was getting married this weekend. I had always hoped that Mrs. V would be there to dance at my wedding. Alas, she is not strong enough to attend. But somehow I know she will be there in spirit.

Sometimes we do things and they seem so small maybe even bordering on corny. Then, you find out just how much small things are appreciated by the people you do them for and it makes you glad that you took the time to do it year after year.

Hope in India

I have a fascination with India and I at times grieve over the injustices of women there. I got involved with Shared Hope International which works to rescue women caught in sex trafficking. I wish I could do more than send the occasional check...

Last month, they sent out a picture of a beautiful, smiling, young woman. On the back of the car it said:

"No one smiled where Sunni was held captive in the desperate brothel district of Mumbai, India. But today, thanks to your generosity and the healing hand of God, Sunni is not only smiling... she's in love! Sunni will be married in April - a dream she never thought would come true."

And I thought to myself as I got all choked up, "Sunni I am getting married in April too and I use to think it would never happen for me." And I was amazed how this far away Indian woman who was rescued from a brothel !! could be used to remind me that April weddings happen all over the world. Dreams come true...

April 21, 2005

I was looking for inspiration. I found this from my prayer journal for April 21, 2005.

"... I thought today especially after my walk yesterday (near where I work) I really want to get married in April. I really love April. The light green colors as trees are coming back to life. The pink petaled trees, the swirling pink petals in the air. The goldfish in the pond. The pink petals resting gingerly on the water, the fish and petals moving to their own current. It was poetry in motion.

So I'd really like to get married in April. I've never had much of an opinion about my wedding... But there is something about April that inspires trust. We don't have to worry about the flowers of April forgetting to bloom. They happen whether we worry about it or not. There is something so nice about waking up one day and the grey have become green, yellow and pink.

I am getting sleepy but I am so thankful about how beautiful this spring has been it has truly ministered to my diseased soul."

I had forgotten that I ever thought that April inspires trust. How interesting because I needed to be reminded of that.

Inquiring Minds Want to Know

Well at least Brandy is wondering...

From my lack of blogging you would think I have been busy. Yes, you could say that you could also say that my poorly set up computer desk is just not conducive to wanting to blog late at night when I am finally home from work, fed, errands run and mind wasted on American Idol or House.

So what's new? A new TV came in the mail this week. The girl taking my place at the House in May bought a new one. It is the best picture I have seen in years! Walter said we couldn't get a new one, but then he hasn't seen this one. I think a new TV would solve his static problems.

Lately for me, its like Christmas everyday! Its fun to see who sent RSVP cards and sometimes there are boxes from Bed, Bath and Beyond!

On March 1 my mom and Carrie had my family & friends Bridal Shower. (I will post pictures another day.) On March 26 the ladies at work threw me a shower. I am amazed at the generosity of people. Both showers were a great blessing to me.

On St. Patrick's Day, (the anniversary of our 1st Date) we went to get a marriage license. It actually took us longer to find a parking spot than to get a license to get married! We had our final session with the pastor. Then, we took my car to the shop because Walter was afraid my tire was about to blow. We were fortunate that the mechanic could take care of it that day. We took the train to Philadelphia to buy wedding bands. Gold is high these days so its not a good time to buy gold rings. Later that night we went to the place we had our first date - Ruby Tuesdays.

I am starting to feel the pinch of last minute things. I have decided not to worry about where Walter's parents will stay. He said that it was their responsibility - this is good for me.
I need to choose songs for the ceremony. I am hoping their will be some nice pink flowers in bloom for the reception centerpieces and that the weather will be nice.

Walter and his dad got new suits today. That's a weight off my mind. I have also begun to move my things over to his apartment. Over half of my books are there and most of my hanging clothes. My mom and I spent most of Saturday cleaning the apartment from top to bottom (Walter is out of town) its squeaky clean and Murphy oiled, windows were glistening and all dust bunnies had been properly sucked up.

So that's what has been going on. Oh yeah, I am looking for a new job and looking forward to seeing the dentist on the 8th. To be honest, I am looking forward to the dentist more than I am looking for or forward to finding a new job!

For all the "stresses", decisions or changes that are soon to be taking place I much rather have them than not have Walter or the pleasure of marrying him.

Surrounded

I have faint memories of being surrounded as a young child. Surrounded by Weeble Wobbles, coloring books, Playskool's Sesame Street, and dolls while watching T.V. I could never just sit still and do one thing.

As you can see from the picture, things haven't changed I am still often surrounded! Only this time it wasn't Weeble Wobbles or even my grown up "toy" -quilting. This time its all the little enclosures that go into wedding invitations!

6,307, 200 to Go

I was reminded via a bouquet of Valentine Flowers that there are only 6,307,200 seconds to go until the Wedding Day. I will stick to thinking in terms of days not seconds. Besides I have always had trouble saying numerical words for anything over a hundred thousand.

Now a frequent question I get is "How are the wedding plans going?"
And great progress has been made. Why people say you need a year to plan a wedding is beyone me.

So far we have a wedding dress & veil, photographer, a caterer (menu is selected), DJ is reserved, the invitations arrived today, and florist has been booked. Mom has her dress, Dad has a new suit and mom found the cutest little pale pink dress for our flower girl at TJMaxx.

There has been some consternation over colors which is not fully decided yet but by God there will be pink flowers! So now all that is left to do is little stuff, favors, addressing envelopes, picking out music for the play list & ceremony, finding a bridesmaid dress (ok this one is not so little), arrange who sits where at the reception, pick out flowers etc. I am sure there are lots of other things, but for the most part I am remaining calm. The hardest part is done and that is getting the groom and I Thank God for him. He's done good.

Punch Buggy - Yellow

Just as I come out of my driveway and groggily approach a stop sign there is a yellow VW beetle at the corner house. It's like a little bit of summer in the winter gray gloom. I find that some mornings it serves as a little bright morning pick me up. And Lord knows I need all the help I can get as I become increasinly more and more not a morning person!

More -From the Depths of My Nightstand

This is a scribbling of a funny happening with a preschool student. So this was probably 2001/ 2002. I'll change the name ;-)

5 year old "Scotty" showed up for preschool with dusty hair. On closer inspection I had a flashback to the high school drama club. Baby Powder! We used it to make our hair gray!

"Scotty, were you playing with baby powder?"

"No my baby sister was!" He said, in a matter of fact sort of way.

"Did you think to stop her so she wouldn't get into trouble?" I said.

With a squeal of delight (unique to him), "No, we were having too much fun!"

Oh preschoolers you got to love them!

From the Depths of My Nightstand

I cleaned out my nightstand drawer the other day. And found this old scribbling from 1999 - maybe 2000.

In the Center of All that Glory...
In the middle of chapel, I turned around and noticed one of my fellow teachers worshipping God. Her eyes were closed, her hand was lifted up and look of adoration and worship was on her face.
Now because it was "Spirit Week" at school, she was dressed in the school colors -blue and gold. She had blue Christmas balls in a wreath around her head. She had blue and gold tinsel for hair. And she had blue lipstick on! She definitely had school spirit!

My first thought at seeing her worship was, what she must look like to God. I had already had my laugh over her outfit earlier. But here she is serious though looking ridiculous in the presence of God. Is He laughing at her too? or did He get that out of system before she left the house? The thing that struck me is that even though she looked silly there was nothing silly about her worship. That was heartfelt and serious and you could see that on her blue lipped face.

I still take this image to heart -years later- no matter how ridiculous we look on the outside God only sees a heart that is truly worshipping.

The Gospel

So I want to share the epiphany I had today.

Sunday, the pastor was teaching on the Abrahmaic covenant in Genesis 15. Where God asks Abraham to kill some animals and line the pieces up to make a pathway to walk through. In those days when you made a covenant with someone the person promising to do something would walk through the aisle of slaughtered animals indicating that if I don't hold up my end of the bargain you have the right to do to me what was done to these animals. Abraham should have been the one to walk through thus accepting the blessing AND the curses of this covenant.

When the sun had set and darkness had fallen, a smoking firepot with a blazing torch appeared and passed between the pieces. (Gen 15: 17)

But Abraham didn't have to walk through - God did it. He took on the repercussions of our sin and failures. He has taken the curses for us. This is the gospel. This is why God continues to be merciful.

So I was lying on the chiropractor's table today having been all bent of shape for a couple days...
and in talking to the Dr. things became even more clearer to me in light of Sunday's sermon.

I have at times in my life felt dashed to pieces by boyfriends (and quasi-boyfriends,) classmates, society in general, even God. I have spent the last 2-3 years really working to put the pieces back together or clear away the pieces that are stumbling blocks to me. Its a slow process, but I believe that because I have moved in this direction (rather than stay in my rut) Walter was able to find me.

She (the chiropractor) asked me to picture Moses and the Burning Bush and let God continue to burn away the old patterns and fears that have been apart of me for so long. And I thought also of God's blazing torch passing through the pieces.

This is the epiphany part that I shared with her as it all became clearer to me. Though I may have let myself be dashed to pieces in the past. That is a pattern God has now shown me I never have to fall victim to again. I will never be dashed pieces of meat. God has taken that on himself for me.

Knowing this, realizing this, feeling this I know God can be trusted.

I gotta wonder if Abraham felt a little like I did when I left her office - a little shaken up at the realization of what God committed to do (for me), but also really thankful. Really thankful.

The Big Annoucement

So I waited a long time to make a purchase at Macy's today. Seemed almost fitting that I should have to wait so long to pay for something that I have waited so long to have occasion to wear.

I'll just say its for my trousseau...

This is my somewhat backward way of announcing: I am getting married in April!!!

That's right folks Walter proposed and of course I said yes. It made for a very memorable 34th birthday -much better than last year!

It hardly seems possible when you look at where I was this time last year. God has been faithful. Each day it hits me softly or suddenly, sometimes like a wave sometimes like a breeze that there is hope for women in their 30s to find godly men or should I say be found.

Don't give up hope. I thanked God today that He had me wait as long as I did. It makes this time all the more special and romantic. In all the world, he had Walter find me. And he was worth the wait!

Lizzy's Ascolane Fried Olives

Bite size pieces of savory bliss - that's what fried stuffed olives are.

This recipe is particular to Ascoli Piceno where my great grandparents are from. I have been there twice now and they always serve up this speciality item.

My family usually has them for Christmas, but I was never really crazy about them until I tried them in Italy. And I loved them. Somehow being in another country, makes trying new things easier... I even learned to like fresh figs in Italy too.

So no one ever tells me when they are making the stuffed olives so I don't know how to make them properly but the Internet provided me with 2 decent recipes. (#1 and #2) which I altered to suit myself (took out the Parmesan cheese). I have heard that you have to cut the olive in a spiral to remove the pit and then you get a little ball of meat and wrap the spiral olive around the meat. So it returns to its olive shape and then you bread it and fry it. (You can read the recipes if you want more details.)

But when I actually opened the jar of olives to begin the process of cutting the olive like a spiral. I realized why everyone says, "It really hard work and its an all day project." NO JOKE. And when you don't have a decent knife around... well you have to cut some corners somewhere... or in this case cut some curves.

So I decided to follow through with an idea I had had before. I cut the olive off the pit. Put the olives in a food processor and diced them up a little then mixed the olive bits in with the meat concoction. Then preceded to bread them. I fried a couple to sample. And they were good! Not the same as the authentic Ascolane Olives but a nice twist (or lack of twist/spiral). It still took a good long time to cut up 80+/- olives, but certainly less time than spiral cutting them.

Perhaps next year I will have better knives to work with and I will try this recipe the traditional way... until then... the family can feast on Lizzy's Ascolane Fried Olives.

Happy Squatter

Yesterday was the baby's birthday. One year ago yesterday, I got to see the little "feisty peanut" come into the world. Wow hard to believe the year has gone by already. She is a joy to watch. This is a picture of her squatting. Something she may have learned from me ;-)
I have the ability to squat. My old roommate Jenn called it my "Haitian Squat" because while on a mission trip in Haiti she saw so many women squatting in the water to wash clothes. I find squatting good for gardening, cutting out fabric and other things...

Its a great ability to have. Glad to see the baby can squat with the rest of us.

Fully Committed Part 2

This is the TV Cabinet Walter and I hauled up the stairs. I have thought a lot about that adventure. One could say it was a real relationship builder.

While mulling over what it means to be fully committed, I recalled a conversation I had with a Christian woman recently about a time when she and her husband were experiencing a lot of tension and she considered getting a divorce. The fact that divorce was threatened added more pressure to an already ugly tension.


But then, like me pushing up the rear of this TV cabinet, she made the conscious decision that divorce was not an option for her after all. She would stick it out no matter how difficult. She told her husband, "I am in this for the long haul. Divorce is not an option." That decision made all the difference in the marriage and relationship.


I hear marriage is work and you have to be fully committed... to making it work. Otherwise you might be left holding the TV cabinet or end up with one on your head!

Pie Dough Confessions

I can't say I have ever made my own pie crust. I hear that if you play with the dough too much the pie crust won't come out right. (Although with a cursory look online I can't something to quote.)


Though I have no first hand knowledge of pie crust gone bad, I feel at times as though I ankle deep in pie dough and my hands are a mess with it. It is when I am meddling or putting the cart before the horse trying to force my agenda or hurry God up that I get the sense that I am ruining the pie crust by my hands being so much in the moment or the mess.

I told my boss I feel like am ruining the pie crust with my putting the horse before the cart. He said, "No you?!!?" He knows my propensity for getting ahead of myself.

My hands almost feel messy. Its been happening a lot lately. Its no good, even though I am conscious of my errors its so hard to break out of this pattern and keep my hands off the dough as much as possible! Though there is not much I can do about the already ruined "pie crusts", I am trying to check myself and say, "Liz you are playing with the pie dough too much."

A Report on the Pumpkin Sorbet

Thanksgiving Day's Pumpkin Sorbet created an interesting sensation. Most of my family tried it. And many liked it. Gram admitted she didn't care for it. I enjoyed my 4th batch best. Using the ice cream maker made all the difference! Many thanks again to the 2 people who posted a recipe and a link! Good stuff!

It's just nice to try something different once in awhile!

White Merlot & Red Pears

I don't like pears. I have finally gotten my Gram trained not to offer me pears. It has taken decades... On a whim I decided to try a red pear. I heard that there are pears that aren't gritty. (Its the grittiness I don't like.) I thought perhaps it was the red pear they were talking about.

Walter peeled the skin and sliced it up and it was like a little piece of sweet heaven! On another whim, I added a few pieces of red pear to the Forest Glen White Merlot I was sipping. Perhaps it was a perfect pear -pure sweetness no grittiness- coupled with wine. Oh my was it ever good!
I sad when I had eaten the last little morsel. I'll have to let Gram know she can start offering me red pears all the better if she has some White Merlot on hand as well! Its a grand combination. Its nice to let the tastebuds live a little on the edge.

Fully Committed

Walter and I have been scoping out a used furniture store for something to keep the TV in. Sunday, we found the perfect piece. It was custom made by a Lancaster County Amish furniture company and was every bit as nice as Ethan Allen! He measured and figured we could fit it.

Lightening the load, he took off the doors and lazy susan inside the cabinet, then, I had to decide if I could handle helping him carry it up the narrow steep stairs. First I started up the stairs going backwards with him in the rear but I just didn't have the strength to hoist it and walk backwards. We got up 2 steps and I said, "I can't do it." Knowing full well that I couldn't do it and if continued to try I would crush him and possible kill him. That was way too much pressure. So we switched, I pushed from the rear and he dragged it up step by step.

Never in my life have I do something so physically difficult. The weight and size of the cabinet was almost just too much. We had only gone a couple steps when I realized there is no going back I need to finish this and yet I didn't think I could. I said to myself, "I am just going to have to go find someone to help!" I knew that no matter what Walter wouldn't let go because he would crush or kill me if he did. The magnitude of that was overwhelming on so many levels. I also thought of soldiers at war when they are in the midst of a difficult battle, they can't say, "I am not going be able to swing this. I'll see if I can get someone else to fill in." No, they are fully committed, the only option is to keep going no matter what. They complete the task or die trying. So I called out to God to give me strength and I stretched out my arms and pushed. And finally after what seemed like hours we reached the landing. I was out of breath and shaking!

I had this strange desire to cry too. It was a good while before I settled down and even now my muscles ache! If I had known how difficult it was going to be I wouldn't have attempted it.

The cabinet looks really nice though!

Comments

Whoever sent me the link for the sorbet recipe THANK YOU. I hadn't come across that one.
Ironically though, my roommate came home tonight with the same recipe for me which works out great because I don't have a printer at home.

I am going to give it a try this week. First I have to dig part of the ice cream maker out of the freezer. No easy task!

Someone also asked about where I find things like the big wheel bike. I was at a local antique car club event. And as those particular bikes were in keeping with the era he was invited to join the fun! The man was riding all around on the bike and was letting people try and hop on. I saw a couple of teenage girls do it so I figured I could do it too.