Fan into Flame

It is decided I am going back to my old Bible.

My good old underlined and highlighted with life and struggle Life Application Bible. I got it in college and it is underlined with intention. I pulled it out this morning and what moved me back then is moving me now. Now, when I feel distant, out of sorts, alone and weak. I have felt like a reoccurring train wreck and I shouldn't feel this way. I have been through worse struggles, situations and emotional states of mind. I made it through God's well thought out lesson plans (with His help!) and learned well enough to ... pass to the next thing... by applying what I read!

I have felt a little like the Bible I have been using the last few years coming apart at the seams on the outside and not doing anything about it on the inside to fix me. There is a shocking lack of underlining and that's not because there has been a lack of trial and struggle or pens but more a lack of leaning, reading and delving into the Word for hope, sustenance and assurance of God's provision.

This morning I read...

(From the old Bible) For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands for God gave not a spirit of fear but of power and love and self control.

The Life Application says "stir up the gift of God" that works too because I have been sedentary.

Thanks 2 Timothy 2:6-7 I really needed a stirring, a good old kick in the pants.

So this is what I need to do.

I need to fan into flame the gift of God. I need Him to stir up the gifts He has put inside me.

Starting with spending less time sedating my worries with Swagbuck games and solitaire. I believe God gave me the gift of writing but I have had nothing to write about because I am not delving into the Word of God. A few paragraphs before bed is not enough to grow or maintain past growth let alone produce anything that might cause reflection or revelation or encouragement for me or anyone else for that matter.

I am weakened by or just too weak to research rentals, face calling a health insurance company or staying home all day with no errands to run because gas is too high to take a daily "field trip". I am not exercising my spiritual muscles, I have laid aside the full armor of God. I am a flabby spiritual couch potato and have no one to blame but myself!

So cue the Rocky Theme Song it is time to get back in shape!

2011 Goals Update

So far this year...

DAILY
Drink water - struggling with this one
Take my vitamins - I should be ashamed of myself
Listen to a different CD everyday and purge the ones I don't want anymore - slowly working on this one.
Read to the baby - half and half.
And
Get dressed by 11am - hit or miss

MONTHLY
Blog at least once a week - failing but I have a few ideas brewing. Having ideas help.
Read a book a month - Success - read 2 in one month! Stay tuned
Complete a craft project a month - completed a scarf to be donated to a worthy cause.
Ebay something once a month - sold one item this year.

Musical Memory Lane

So I am successfully doing one of the things on my goals list for 2011.

I am playing not one but sometimes two CDs a day. I randomly pick a couple CDs and the Baby and I listen to them throughout the day.

Most of the music is old school Christian music going back to the days when Audio Adrenaline and Out of the Grey were topping the Christian music charts.

Earlier this week it was Mitch McVicker who was in the car accident that killed Rich Mullins - gosh nearly 15 years ago. Can it be that long ago? I remember he died on my brother Louis' birthday and I was thinking of my brother and heard on the radio about the accident... Needless to say listening to music that is 15 years old and practically from another lifetime brings back memories of high school and college and the years following. Followed by googling all these old musicians to see what they are up to now. Because frankly the only group I keep up with is Third Day.

Anyhow, today, it was Eli and his "Things I prayed For" and its funny how I still remember the words to these songs! I can sing right along and my baby must think I am nuts!

Another oldie but goodie by Eli is "That's all the Lumber" in this video its sung by Ceili Rain. (It is a better video than any I could find by Eli.) I remember the words and the same little excited thrill still happens inside me when you get to the end of the song when the guy finally "get's it."

The old songs still have it. They renew and inspire ... thoughts from memory lane and also thoughts of the future as I teach my son to love the old music, learn the words and hope and pray he will live them too.

On the Band Wagon

I was feeling very uninspired to come up with any 2011 Goals or Resolutions like everyone else seems to be doing in the "Blogosphere". The best I could come up with is to be out of my PJs before 11am. Failing already. The bulk of my laundry are pajamas.

One blog I looked at asked all these abstract questions probing into your psyche. I've got no time for that!

Then, I found my inspiration here! Great idea I will use a journal book instead. Anyhow this jump started my idea maker so that now I have a list of Goals. Besides getting dressed by 11am.

I even created a Daily Log to help keep me accountable:
DAILY
Drink water
Take my vitamins
Listen to a different CD everyday and purge the ones I don't want anymore
Read to the baby
And
Get dressed by 11am

MONTHLY
Blog at least once a week
Read a book a month
Complete a craft project a month
Ebay something once a month


Well see how it goes.

Christmas Shells

The last few years we have been doing Christmas dinner differently. Usually we would do a turkey dinner and/or ravioli. Lately, we pick something that's a treat that we don't normal have like veal or prime rib.

This year it was veal cutlets and stuffed shells. I made the stuffed shells because I can't eat regular ravioli neither can my mom or brother. Making stuffed shells seemed a lot easier than making dairy free ravioli.

So this is what I did for my Christmas Stuffed Shells.

Pound+/- of ground meat (I had veal but it smelled funny so I had to pitch it and used turkey)
A Bag of frozen spinach
Onion
garlic
Mashed potatoes
egg
bread crumbs
salt & pepper

I cooked the meat, added all the other stuff to it and then stuffed the cooked shells with the concoction.

It was so easy after I got over the sorrow of the spoiled veal and after my neighbor provided me with more mashed potatoes -because I had less than I thought.
The baby took one of his 2 hour naps (PTL) and I got them all done Christmas Eve.

We smothered it in sauce and called it Christmas Dinner.



I am excited to try them again maybe making them a little bit more like pierogies next time hmm potato, onion and spinach - yum!

Fruit of my Grandparents

I wrote the following for my grandparents for Christmas. My Pop suggested I have it patented... well I don't know about that but I can self publish ;-) and share with the world just how wonderful my grandparents are!

As you near 90, I think of all the years I have been blessed to have you in my life. Now that I have Walter I think of all the things I want him to learn from you, inherit from you, and value like you do. Here are just a few...

I hope he learns the value of a compost pile.

I hope he learns and develops the skill and patience to produce something

whether its tomatoes, honey, wine …

I hope he is generous with his loved ones and those in need.

I hope he can tell a good story and include a song in it too

and appreciate a good story when he hears one.

I hope he works circles around everyone else.

I hope he has a mind for remembering details (names, birthdays, dates, faces) because people feel respected & loved when you remember their name etc...

I hope when people hear his name they only have good things to say.

Changes in Waiting

I saw an e-Harmony commercial today and I thought of the 2 couples I know who got married thanks to e-harmony. I wondered to myself, "Does it still work for people? I have been out of the online dating world for 4 years now. Can you believe it FOUR years!?" It hardly seems possible.

Here I am finally married and the mother of an almost 11 month old and I am still waiting.
I waited for years for it all to happen and now that I have my Walters there are just new things to wait for.

The baby and I went to the laundromat today and along the way I was looking at the houses with for sale signs and wondering what the property taxes are. You see now I am waiting for a house with a washer and dryer, a dishwasher, and a real bedroom for my fairly light sleeping baby. We are just waiting for the right time for us and researching the best places to look. I drive by houses and wonder are you the one? Reminiscent of dinners out with friends wondering whether the new guy might be the one... Now I wonder what will my house be like? Will it be brick or stone or icky 4 inch vinyl siding? Will it be new or old? Rancher? Laundry room on the main floor or the basement? How far will it be from my parents? Will there be a church nearby that we can agree on? Will I like the neighbors? Will there be neighbors?

It must be just a matter of the human condition that we struggle with always wanting more or different. Or maybe it is a woman thing... or maybe just a Lizzy thing. I shutter to think what I will be wanting after we finally do get a house. I am exhausted just thinking about it. Exhausted because of the patience I must exert to not get overly anxious waiting. (Something tells me the next thing will involve some kind of tropical trip.)

On many levels waiting for a house can't compare with waiting for a husband. All the hard work is already done! Having waited so long for him, is helping me to wait more patiently now. Unfortunately, I think my husband thinks I am not being nearly patient enough.

I think on laundromat day my patience is running much thinner. I indulged in a little home searching when I got home but decided blogging was a better use of my time with the baby napping so well. Laundry day gets me down because its such a stinking hassle - loading unloading, quarters, strange clientele... Then, I remind myself it could be worse. I could be washing in a dirty river or bringing water back in a pot balanced on my head to wash my things.

In life there is waiting, there is no way around it. Waiting for husbands, babies, nap time, a house, a day off, a vacation, a new idea the list goes on and its always changing.

Cooking What's in Season

Look at this lovely display of display of seasonal vegetables!

Since I was going to the Farmer's Market every week, I wanted to cook my way through the season by cooking what's in season. This meant making things for the first time. Believe it or not I never made applesauce. The last few weeks I made applesauce once a week for the baby.
I also made him a butternut squash and found it to be pretty tasty so I looked for a recipe for hubby and I. Butternut squash soup... It was thick and hearty. It was savory and rich. It was great with croutons sprinkled on top or just with buttered crusty bread.


There was butternut squash risotto with baked tomato topped gourmet mini burgers, fried eggplant and leftover broiled zucchini...


I discovered this recipe last year and it is super yummy, chicken rolled up with turkey bacon, tomato paste and fresh basil from my porch garden. Skewered alongside the chicken is the the aforementioned broiled zucchini.


A slightly different gourmet mini burger with fresh lima beans from my dad's garden. Most of the zucchini and tomatoes we ate this summer came from his garden. Thanks Dad!


I was having a yen for leeks. I just thought leeks and potatoes would go good together and I made this up as I went along.


In October, my in-laws came for a visit as well as hubby's 2 friends so I pulled out all the stops and made - for the first time - Jeanie's Jewish Apple Cake. Yum!


So many lovely yummy concoctions, so fresh from the fields. Not pictured... fresh pumpkin bread - who needs Libbys? Cooking pumpkin is a snap. Acorn squash... sweet potato casserole... roasted cauliflower...

Turnips. I have only had them once while in Ireland 10 years ago, I ate what I was told were turnips but they tasted more liked mashed potatoes smothered in butter and cream. I should have tried making that recipe, instead I tried this caramelized diced nonsense. AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL. No wonder my mom never ever made them. I'll never try turnips again. They are truly dead to me! I tried though and part of cooking my way through the seasons was to try new things.

Now winter is upon us and the Farmer's Market is pretty much done until May. In the meantime, we will enjoy frozen mangoes from Trader Joes, Kiwi from New Zealand, and blueberries from my dad's freezer!


P.S.
I'll get you the recipes I used but only if someone asks!

Mommy Bloggers

So I just don't get the whole Mommy Blogger sub culture. How do they have time to put together posts, beautiful websites and pictures?!
Do they have bigger play pens than me?
Do their children sleep longer?
Do they have more than one computer? Because I have to fight for this one in the evening...
Or maybe their computer is in the playpen...
Do they have a dishwasher? Seriously I have dishpan hands!
Do they have husbands who don't mind their children's pictures being posted. The most you'll ever see on here is a part of my boy's body.

At this stage in my life, I only have time for money saving tips, but today I came across an "box" for this site for Muthering Heights on Money Saving Mom. I was intrigued because of its play on words with Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte -one of my favorite classics. This Muthering Heights website is just so beautiful. I love the banner and all the graphics, they are just so beautiful. So what does mean? I guess I just like beauty but I am certainly still learning to mother and save money for that matter. And I guess I am just not too inclined (nor is my husband for that matter) to share every jot and tittle of our lives like mommy bloggers.

But I have an idea. Something is brewing and I just need a little time...

Nap Time

Everyday I both dread and cherish nap-time. I dread it because unless we are in a car - I get a fight. It is unfortunate for me that my son has inherited my not a good napper-ness. Not only do I get a fight I don't get long for all my efforts at the most40 minutes. Whereas most babies his age are suppose to nap for an hour and half twice a day. I am lucky - really lucky- if I get 2 at 30 minutes.

My mom, who said she would never wish my inability to nap well on me in regards to my baby boy, says I was a cat napper. She said without fail, I would fall asleep at 11:50am and then the noon Dupont lunch whistle would blow and wake me up. I was bright eyed and ready to go again.

So I have come to dread nap-time because of the awful fight. Its either tears and fussing or feeling guilty for rocking him -yet again when he should learn to fall asleep on his own.

I cherish nap-time because there is so much to do that's easier done when he is asleep! So now he is a sleep its been a whole 12 minutes and I chose to blog with my time. Every nap-time though I think to myself ok I have a list of things to do. Do I make calls, do dishes, start dinner, make babyfood, eat something, mindlessly read cnn.com and get miffed at the comments people make on the articles, do I go through emails, blog, write for pleasure or journal or just sit down for a few minutes put my feet up and read without having to retrieve the baby from chewing on a cord or climbing up a bookshelf.

All the while I wonder, "How much time do I really have, if I leave my room and walk passed him will the woosh of my movement be enough to wake him?" "Might he really sleep longer than 45 giving me time to really get into something like a quilting project?"

20 minutes asleep. Blog entry almost done. What next? I think for starters a PB&J sandwich...

My Treehouse

The sun dapples on my sofa and casts shadows of leaves. The baby has always been intrigued by this. I chose not to put curtains up on all the windows when I moved in because it would obstruct the view of the tree just outside the windows. Look out any window and you can trees and picturesque-ness. I just love where I live.

So I guess you can call it a revelation or a "Duh!"when I walked into the living room yesterday and realized why I liked the room so much... well our apartment for that matter. The green leaves of the maple amassed against the window swaying in the breeze met me and I said, "It feels like we are living in a treehouse!" My husband said, "Duh!"

I guess this is why on even very fine days when it seems a shame to be inside I don't feel like I am missing out on that much if I stay in. The windows are open the breezes are blowing and the trees shadows are dappling on the sofa and it almost feels like I am outside.

It is funny because I was always envious of my cousins' treehouse and here all along -well at least the last 2+ years- I've kind of been living in one.

My Treehouse views...

Call Me Nostagic

Once my little boy could sit up I couldn't wait to introduce him to my old Fisher Price Chime Ball.
I went into my parent's hot attic to hunt this old memorable toy down. I think he likes it.



So call me nostalgic but the next thing I wanted for him was the crib activity toy my brother and I used in our crib and playpen. Unfortunately, we couldn't find that in the attic. So I looked to ebay. That was a bit of a saga, I won't go into but after cleaning with a toothbrush my boy has his own 1973 Fisher Price crib toy which he is currently enjoying. They just don't make anything like this these days or at least nothing I could find.


Based on the price these toys were going for on Ebay, I must not be the only nostalgic 30something parent wanting their new baby to play with the same toy they used when they were young.

A Peachy Saga

I have heard,"Its a great year for peaches. They like it hot and dry." We have had both heat and little rain. So of course this baby food making momma wants her boy to have the delight of delicious peaches. However, peaches are on the "Dirty Dozen List*" and so I have been apprehensive about feeding him peaches and unsure if I could really afford organic peaches.

In my comings and goings to different Farmers Markets, I have been inquiring with the farmers about just how chemical free their peaches are. They always say the same thing. "We don't like to spray but it is practically impossible not to." Nevertheless they have convinced me that their peaches are cleaner and safer than any conventional peach from the store. And we have been enjoying them.

The other day I was talking to a neighbor about all things organic and he mentioned he had some peaches from the orchard on the property that we live on. Duh, I look out at these abandoned peach trees every time I do dishes. I don't know why it didn't occur to me to at least inquire about them. Later that night, he gave us a shopping bag full of peaches - about 30 total.

You can't get anymore organic than an abandoned peach tree! And free too!

Because the weather has been so ideal for peaches this year these untended peaches are beautiful! Certainly not perfect, he did have to pick around for really good ones, but they were sweet and luscious. We made fruit smoothies, ate them fresh, I pureed them for the baby and now have 48 peach cubes in the freezer. I also made a lovely peach bread which I shared with my neighbor. (I added some unsprayed raspberries for a little extra something. They weren't free..)

As I looked out at the orchard peeling peaches through out the week, I just couldn't help but stand in awe over how God provided for me in such a big small way. He saved me money that's for sure but He also provided us with something pure that I can feed my son knowing the only pest control used on these gift peaches were his own created nature.

It is just peachy how God provides for us and sometimes in the most extraordinary and simple ways.

* Dirty Dozen List -Most Contaminated

• Peaches
• Apples
• Sweet Bell Peppers
• Celery
• Nectarines
• Strawberries
• Cherries
• Pears
• Grapes (Imported)
• Spinach
• Lettuce
• Potatoes

Sunday Mornings

It is Sunday morning, the baby is exploring and learning how to sit up on his own. He woke up from his nap cranky and we missed our window to go to church. Instead, he is reaching for things that interest him and then chewing all over them. I have a mix of praise music playing. I have been listening to to it over and over again all morning. It is the best of the best, the ones that drive me to lift up my arms in worship. The ones that make me tear up. Its the music that I listened to when I was pregnant and overwhelmed with thankfulness - or felt I should be more thankful. Some of the music is old and reminds me of Sundays long ago...

Sundays long ago, I rose early and drove 45 minutes to get to my singles only service. Those days were sometimes more frenzied and full of rant than full of worship. The focus more often than not was what new guys were there and why weren't the regular guys ever asking any of us out. Or what to do if one of them had! Sometimes it seems like yesterday and sometimes a lifetime ago.

I do miss the weekly fellowship of the girls. I miss the passionate way Lauren sang (she sang one of the songs on my mix.) But I don't miss the constancy of my guy radar always being on. It was exhausting. The times have changed, so many of us "graduated" from the group and it is as it should be. Many of us are married now and have the babies we longed for. We have changed and grown, drifted and moved.

I hope we will always remember those Sunday mornings and the really important parts of them - the music we worshiped to and the true friends we made and keep all these years later.

Sundays are just different now now, our radar is more for keeping little hands out of places they shouldn't be but the music can still be the same. The music can take us back to the best of those times and how they shaped us and make us all the more thankful to the One who shaped us. One who moved us from one kind of frenzy to another!

The Farmers Market

My baby is 6 months old now. In preparing for him to start solids I have been trying to buy more organic foods -particularly the "Dirty Dozen." I also thought I should get into going to Farmer's Markets because many of the local growers are technically organic just not certified by Uncle Sam. I don't need that costly USDA seal, an Amish Farmer's word is good enough for me.

There are multiple Farmers Markets in the area so I have my pick of the town or the day.

They are quite popular and so is the importance of buying pesticide free produce. So I am not the only one interested in keeping my family's food wholesome and safe!

Being there (I've been to 2 different markets) just felt right and a little daunting as I get the lay of the land. It felt so "Old World" seeing people arrive with their baskets to fill full of lovely tomatoes and green beans. This is the closest a non-grower can get to having a garden overflowing with fresh ripe vegetation.

I just kept thinking this is the way it use to be. And evidently, the way it will continue to be.

I had my mental list of what I wanted: peaches, a cantaloupe and a grass-fed whole chicken. A quart of perfect green beans caught my eye "chemical free" the sign said. Perfect for my baby!

The other really nice thing about being a Farmer's Market shopper you can enjoy the progression of the season as fruits and veggies come in and out of season. The markets will go through November and I am already envisioning piles of acorn and butternut squash coming into season in the coming weeks. Eating what's in season is a satisfying natural way to eat. I am enjoying it more this summer. Last summer, all I wanted was canned peaches and cantaloupe. My first trimester had me swearing off anything green. So I am savoring zucchini, tomato, green beans etc all the more this summer.

Tomorrow morning off to try another Farmer's Market need more peaches, hoping for some raspberries...

I am hooked on Farmer's Markets.

This is it

My new design.

I like it because it is both whimsical and real.
Hope, glory and wonder can be both whimsical and real.
We can find hope, glory and wonder in the whimsical and real.
So I think it works.

Now to blog more faithfully. It is important that I write because the writer in me is buried under diapers and dishes.

A More Whimsical Design

What do you think of this one?

Update Needed

I decided that I needed a real update. So I am working on a visual update as well as a wordy one.

How do you like this layout?

The Times

Driving out to my friend Brandy's a couple weeks ago, I couldn't help but think about how the times have changed. We first met in 1992 during our first days of college. Here we are 18 years later still getting together.

When we were in college email was just starting. At times, I thought it kind of weird to email someone who you would later see at the dining hall and could easily tell them whatever it was that was in the email.

I remember one of my roommates staying up to the wee hours of the morning or however late the computer lab stayed open so she could be in a chat room. Most of us just had word processors in our dorm rooms... not enough to chat with!

In the summer, my little group of friends use to write each other letters - real actual letters on pretty stationary. (I use my stationary for "To Do Lists" now.) One roommate use to get creative and make envelopes out of pretty magazine pages. Brandy and I often passed around "Pass it on" cards, sometimes enclosed in a letter, or stuck on someone's door or book. This was my favorite one:
This week marks the 14th year since we graduated college both of us Elementary Education majors. Now both of us are Stay at Home Moms putting our education to work on the most important children ever.

What has happened in 14 years for us and our circle of friends? Marriages, babies, lots babies, - some awhile ago some just months ago. Sadly we've witnessed a divorce. We've followed the dreams of friends who have gone on to be a missionary and a IVCF staff worker.

We now use email instead of letters. We can't imagine life without cell phones, yet we had lives without cell phone 14 years ago!

Now we have Facebook. Sometimes I wonder what a difference an animal like Facebook would have made if we graduated and known we could easily keep in touch through that. I do think it would have made a difference.

Still its nice to think back to the summer days when I would write a juicy -hopefully witty- letter to Brandy and others about my day or week. The fact that I was apart of something so bygone-ish is a precious treasure. Those letters held together friendships much the same way that email and Facebook do today.

The times have changed. Technology has changed. Friendship that continues!

The Hula Hoop Plan

Its pretty pathetic how much TV I watch, even though I only really have 3 channels. Sometimes I get a good idea though. Marisa Tomei was on Ellen espousing the wonders of losing weight and toning your muscles with the oh so simple hula hoop.

Well shoot I can do a hula! Seems a brilliant way to work the baby belly, thighs and over all core.
So I went down to my local Wal-mart and picked up a hula hoop.

I am trying to do 10 minutes a day and already I feel like the blubber is melting away. I have sore muscles which mean something is working and its fun. I have discovered that if it is too cold or windy outside -as it has been- I can hula on my bed.

Who knows maybe I will look into breaking a record...

Ok so I just looked into breaking a record. I think I would need a babysitter for several days to pull off a stunt like that. So I think I will just stick with shedding pounds and toning muscles.

I will keep working on it and hopefully by fall I will be able to fit into all the pants that don't currently fit. In the meantime, Thank God for drawstring capris!

Popping Up

Baby and I were walking around Winterthur toward the end of March. I was catching a look at all the March flowers that waited patiently under 3 two foot blizzards this winter. It fills me with wonder how a sprout on a mission is not stopped by a mound of leaves. Spring just pushes fall out of it's way - as it has every right to do when March rolls around.

Tax Day - Tea Day

Our Little One went to his first tax protest on April 15th. He even carried his own sign.

Drips

I had an amazing domestic revelation this week. Being home all day with my "little" Sumo wrestler has given me time to take stock of well - domestic stuff.

I have come to the conclusion that it is drips that make messes.

Olive juice drips on the counter while making a salad.
Tomato sauce drips to the floor while serving dinner.
A potato peel drips to the floor leaving a brown mark.
A jelly knife drips on the counter while jamming up some toast.
Eating cookies without a plate results in drips of cookie crumbs.
Drips of water make wet socks that require new socks - thus making additional laundry unless I wear wet socks.
Slow diapering results in a loose "fire hydrant" that leads to a new change of clothes and another reason to pull out the Lysol spray cleaner.

Now I see it is the drips that do it, it amazes me that I never noticed this phenomenon for what it is and that a drip can do so much damage to a would be clean kitchen etc. It only takes a crumb or a splatter to mar what was once considered clean. It only takes a tiny drop of a mess to invite the ants in for dinner.

I think if I could harness the drips in my life I would spend less time scrubbing the floor. If I could catch it before it falls, use a plate, place the knife in the sink or use a cutting board instead of the counter I wouldn't be so constantly at war with my countertops.
If I could just get rid of the drips... I might be able to nap when baby naps. Or harken into other areas for domestic revelation like the best way to organize a cabinet ...

Like a Good Neighbor

No one can deny I grew up with really great neighbors. Mary and Charlie always had a seat for you on their porch. John F. and Charlie had these great Crab fests, all the kids would watch as they got the crabs in the pot. John G. played his Big Band music that drummed its way into our yard. Jeanie still so sweet always has that missing ingredient. I could go on and on about Sonny & Diana, Lisa & Brian, my aunt and uncle.

There is nothing like a good neighbor who will help you shovel out of the snow with their snowblower, or lend you an egg when the chickens aren't laying, or won't complain about the chickens in the backyard. I sure do miss it. I could use a good neighbor these days.

I have been out of my parent's house for 6 years now, I've yet to come across neighbors like my old neighbors at my 3 different houses. Someday when we are finally settled in our own home I hope we will find neighbors with a welcome mat on their porch. Maybe I will become the Jeanie or Mary that the neighborhood kids will reminisce about when they are in their 30s.

In the meantime, there is an apartment open next to me and downstairs from me and I am praying for something like a good neighbor.

That Clever God

I have been thinking how clever God is that he made pregnancy for humans only 9 months.

When you finally get to 9 months pregnant you are so uncomfortable. It takes an earth mover to get you out of bed to pee for the 4th time in 4 hours. Your back hurts and you snore now. Your pelvic bones ache in a way you've never experienced, making crawling into bed or your car really painful. If the table is tall enough, you sit at a table to eat while straddling your legs because your belly is too big for the table -most unladylike... Your maternity clothes are too tight and they all have stains on them from dropping food on your belly. You stand to eat because you can't sit at the table and you can't even sit on the sofa with a lap desk - because your lap is gone... and people keep saying "I didn't think it was possible for you to get any bigger" or "no baby yet?!"

To think at the beginning whenever I thought or read or watched labor I CRIED! Now I pour over the labor chapters hoping to remember everything and consider this "light reading." And I am like bring it on! I want my ankles back. I want my lap back. I want my baby!

God surely knew what he was doing when he planned a 9 month gestation because much longer and the population might have never grown. He gets you to the point where you are so ready for whatever kind of pain labor will be.

-5 days to due date, ready when you are Baby.

Spring for a Second

Driving home the sun was setting behind me. It was a giant orange orb settling down in the western sky. The sky was full of reds and oranges and pinks and it reflected on the trees in front of me for just a brief period of time. This reflection of light caused the trees to look as if they were about to burst into their spring red buds. You know that red haze that means soon those little buds will burst forth into a green haze and finally lush green leaves. What a splash of color among the reality of gray middle of winter trees that look like they have no life in them.

And as I made my way down the road, the sun slipped lower and with it the reflecting light on the trees and it was back to the gray of winter. I felt blessed to have caught this glimpse - this reminder that spring is right around the corner.

The Pink Chair

The pink chair is a hand me down from my old job. It really is the shabbiest thing - there I admit it.
But I love this chair! There are those who want me to at least have it reupholstered. I am not sure.

How many times did I plop down on this chair in Jim's office and pour out my troubles with work or life... usually more life than work.

Jim would offer words of wisdom and counsel. The pink chair is symbolic. It is a testimony of wonderful counsel I received while sitting in it, whether from Jim or the others there. I changed -in my head and heart - for the better. How can you cover that up?

Perhaps I will start with at least covering up the arm rests. And go from there. Perhaps its new use - that as a place to feed baby will inspire a new color ... until then pink and shabby it will remain.

No Donkey huh?

So I have been thinking a lot about Mary making the trek with Joseph to be counted in the census. My thoughts comprised whether she had a certain look or a certain way she said "Joseph" that let him know that she needed to "go" again. I mean you go a lot when you are 9 months pregnant!

I mentioned this to the pastor I work with saying it must have been difficult getting on and off the donkey at 9 months pregnant too and of course multiple times because she had to "go."

He said no where in the Bible does it say that Mary rode on a donkey at all. I read all the Christmas scriptures there is no donkey! Just one of the many assumption made about Christmas. I mean how many movies depict this? How many Christmas greeting cards picture Mary sitting side saddle on a donkey with Joseph leading the way?

So maybe she didn't have to get up and down maybe she just walked the 100+/- miles. I am not sure which was worse. Miles walking on sore swollen feet doesn't sound fun either. To be sure she didn't have my fabulous -albeit stained- Easy Spirit shoes! Donkey or not, surely Joseph was a sympathetic travel companion for this heavy with child woman who probably needed to stop to visit an obliging rock or bush more than once.

A friend told me when she was pregnant during Christmas that she saw Christmas from a different perspective. I had have to say the same. I have thought about more than frequent urination while traveling. The carols we sing about the infant Jesus touch my heart differently now. It is refreshing to see Christmas from this different perspective. I suspect that I will see Christmas from a different perspective next year too.

Hormones and Shoes

I have been known to cry over Hallmark commercials. My husband thinks I am ridiculous. To be sure, over the course of the last few months of had my moments of crying over ridiculous things and some not so ridiculous things - like shoes.

There came a point a couple weeks ago where my shoes just didn't fit anymore. So I had to find something in a brown shoe that would fit my fat feet!

I was at the outlets in Lancaster and I came across a shoe that would work. But in the end, I decided to wait and see if I could find something better. Wow, did I find something better!
I saw an EasySpirit store and decided to check out what they had.
They had this beauty...OK maybe not the most beautiful shoe but it quite possibly the most comfortable shoe I have ever worn. So you can imagine my utter despair when I dropped a piece of cauliflower cooked in chicken thighs on top of one of them. I cried. I cursed. I wailed to my husband, "they are the only shoes that fit me and they are ruined." Did I mention I cried.... for 3 days. I was just sick over these shoes. We tried baking powder, Dawn, Shout, a sponge, a toothbrush...

And in the end, I have a slightly imperfect shoe. The dye is a little washed out. But they are still just as comfortable as they ever were and I hardly notice the discoloration now. Honestly, they turned out much better than I feared.

I still can't believe how emotional I got over these shoes though. Something like hormones took over any sense I had. But I guess you'll have that sometimes.

Leaping Through Stress

Leaping through stress, I wish I could say that was the verb I am living right now. My action verbs right now are more like dwelling on stress, listing stressors, and praying for solutions for my stresses. Ok so I am praying but I can't say I feel like I am making much headway just yet.

I compiled a list yesterday of 15+ stressful items. Some piddly and supposedly easy to solve others that will require the movement of God's provision - probably at the last minute!

Driving home tonight, I was thinking I need some kind of vacation.
Then someone spoke up with its little hand or foot and this verse came to mind.

Luke 1: 39-45 - Mary Visits Elizabeth

³⁹At that time Mary got ready and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judea, ⁴⁰where she entered Zechariah's home and greeted Elizabeth. ⁴¹When Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. ⁴²In a loud voice she exclaimed: "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! ⁴³But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? ⁴⁴As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. ⁴⁵Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!"

I thought to myself, "Huh maybe the little leap I just felt is what Elizabeth felt when Mary and the invitro Jesus showed up at the door." To be sure any leaping I felt is being caused by stress -not the incarnate Jesus- but it was also a little mental vacation. I felt that I could relate to this woman in a different way, and I could imagine that what I have been feeling she had felt too. Momentarily, I felt like I had leaped out of my own stress and into some new perspective and felt just a little bit refreshed.

Always Blooming

I have watched these flowers for the last few months. I sometimes felt like they were living in their own little alternate reality like Narnia - always blooming, never dying.

Even when all the other flowers around it faded and died this clump of flowers never stopped blooming. Now I suppose the landlord's mother could have cut off the deadheads before I ever I had a chance to see them. But I don't know for sure.

I have deeply enjoyed their happy bright, bright yellow, the unblemished petals and the way they stand out among the crowd as if to say, " I am picture of perfection - enjoy me." So I have.

A Glimpse of the Slots

On vacation this year we went to Howe Caverns. It was a highlight on an otherwise kind of frustrating holiday. When your trip revolves around driving steam cars that go back to 1913 to 1923 you have to expect breakdowns. So you have to expect... frustration too. But for Howe Cavern day, we took a regular car because it was a pretty long drive.

Like most caverns there were stalagmites and stalactites and a cool 55ish degree temperature. Howe Caverns has something I never saw before and the tour guide saved the best for last.
It was a glimpse into the place I long to go. I believe the guide called it the "Winding Way" but it looked just like a gray Slot Canyon.

Oh how I long to go to Slot Canyon. This tour through the cave was like a glimpse of the Slot Canyon. It wasn't warm and sunny and bright or colorful but it has the striations and the waves. It has the curves and the feel of moving along through a tunnel -long ago carved out by moving water. It was really quite exhilarating!