Love Mercy

So my mom watched the kids so I could go to the spa for a cut, pedicure and massage. HA just kidding I went grocery shopping but going alone is like a spa treatment just a lot cheaper. Anyhow, when I got home she said that if my son is half as bad for me as he was for her then he is "just like you were." I have heard that before from her and it was cute when it came to climbing on things. I was climbing fences at 18 months I could expect nothing less from him. He is a boy of course he wants to climb on things. They didn't have crib tents when I was that young but if they did my Mom could have used one. All that to say we are both stubborn to a fault and fight the wrong battles and find ourselves wishing otherwise after awhile.

He is fighting the battle of "I don't want to be a big boy/ I don't want to try." I am fighting the battle of "Knowing which battles are worth fighting." I kind of feel like we are butting heads all day everyday and by the time I go to bed I feel like I haven't loved my little boy well enough. I feel bad. And I am tired and worn out and want to eat peppermint patties and drink wine - just not together.

So the word mercy has kind of been rattling around in my brain the last few days. I could use mercy from him and I think he could probably stand a little from me. Mercy.  Maybe we could make it through one day were I don't constantly drop the F-bomb in my brain.  I mean seriously there are &#^^@ in all the thought bubbles over my head.

So anyway I looked up the good old "love mercy" Micah 6:8 verse and was a little surprised how fitting verse 7 was for me.

 Micah 6: 7-8 Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams,

Ten thousand rivers of oil?

Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression,

The fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?

8 He has shown you, O man, what is good;

And what does the LORD require of you

But to do justly,

To love mercy,

And to walk humbly with your God?

My anger, my inability to cope or react better, my lack of inconsistency, my lack of mercy and lack of reliance on Jesus to help me in all things is giving my first born up for learning the same damn things.  I might as well as be burning him on some alter. I am pretty sure God won't be pleased with  my children being the victims of the sins of my soul.

I know this. I have known this.

So why is it still so hard to put into practice? What does God require me to do with my firstborn (and the second born too)-to show him what it looks like to do justly, love mercy and walk humbly with God.